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binniesoob · 2 years ago

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A Summary of Tomorrow X Together's storyline

While waiting for the new album, The Name Chapter: Temptation, to come out, I decided to write a summary of TXT's storyline, focusing on the main themes, motifs and references of the music videos to get a general picture of it!

Feel free to share your insights and/or theories, or to point it out if you see any inaccuracies!

Edit: I'm in the process of correcting a few things and properly add The Chaos Chapter and Minisode 2 to the picture!

— DISCLAIMER

Just a warning that I'm going to leave behind some additional details and references for this, because:

there are way too many and I still don't know all of them (yet) lol;

as I said, this is made to be a summary focusing on the main motifs;

I still need to fully catch up with the webnovel on Wattpad that has lots of more info;

I don't want to overwhelm you, especially if this is your first approach to the storyline!

— PLAYLISTS

I created playlists on both Youtube and Spotify with the songs in the order I'm going to talk about today:

YouTube playlist here

contains music videos in the storyline order to watch while reading!

Spotify playlist here

includes some b-sides, but in this summary I'm only going to focus on those with a music video and the title tracks, so feel free to skip if they are not mentioned!

In this post, I'm going to add only those specifically needed to be watched to follow and understand my analysis. All the others are in the YouTube playlist anyway :)

Okay, now we are ready to start!

— WHAT'S THEIR STORY ABOUT?

TXT's story is about growth: they talk about the transition from adolescence to adulthood and all those changes that characterise it, the fear and refusal to grow up, the desire to stay young forever.

They tackle the theme both explicitly, through music videos and lyrics set in our time, and through symbolism using a fantasy plot with magical elements.

Actually, we could say that their storyline is a story inside a story : the fairytale, in which they find refuge from the real world in a magical one, Magic Island, is the story of the board game (in the Dungeon's & Dragon's style) or the videogame they are playing in the real world to "escape reality". This is why both the fairytale concept and the game concept are crucial to understand the storyline!

— IS THERE A MULTIVERSE?

My answer is yes, there is. As we're going to see, there are various ways in which their story develops and can be developed.

Additionally, last year Hybe announced the release of a Webtoon and a Wattpad webnovel to further elaborate TXT's storyline, both called "The Star Seekers". These two differ from each other and from the storyline narrated through the music videos: they talk about their alter egos called Star One, idols in a version of the real world where magic also exists. However, as I said earlier, we won't go into the details of it and we will stick to the basic storyline related to the music!

— THE STORYLINE

Now let's see how their story unfolds through the albums Chapters, their songs and related music videos. We, of course, start our journey with...

THE DREAM CHAPTER: STAR

– NAP OF A STAR

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🎶 Memories of childhood dancing in the sky / Even if it's fading away now 🎶

This song and its music video tell us about the origins and also the final goal of the group. When TXT were still children they met for the first time, played together and made a promise to each other and with a Star: "even if we were to part, we will find each other".

They actually separate and consequently the light of the Star goes out. Why is that? Well, how many points does a classic star have? ⭐ Five, right? And how many members does TXT have? Five! Each one of them is a part of the Star, and without them united there is no Star: the Star symbolizes their friendship. ✨ The power of friendship ✨ is the key to their whole story. This also explains why in choreos often TXT form stars by uniting their bodies.

from: 1) TDC:MAGIC concept trailer, 2) MMA 2019 performance intro, 3) MMA 2022 performance intro.

Years go by and TXT enter adolescence, symbolically represented by the development of physical peculiarities: Yeonjun has horns, Soobin long ears, Taehyun an eye with a star, Beomgyu thorns on his shoulders and Hueningkai wings.

Yeonjun, scared by the horns, runs away into the woods, thinking he has become a monster. Here, for the first time, he meets the blue and green eyed Cat that will haunt us for the rest of our days (😔), he gets wounded in the throat and runs away terrified. The Cat here symbolises all the scary and dangerous aspects of the world we come in contact with once we leave our childhood.

Refusing his new condition (and therefore change and growth), Yeonjun snaps one of his horns. He is then rescued by HueningKai and the rest of the group, and now that they're together again the Star turns on once again! This is what should happen at the end of aaaall the journey, but the road is long and rough...

– CROWN

🎶 Are you my savior who found me alone? / Who you, you? / Are your wings created from the same pain as mine? 🎶

The lyrics tells us what we saw in Nap of a Star: entering adolescence, symbolized by the sprouting of horns, not knowing who you are and wanting to run away. But TXT are not alone in their pain and confusion: when they meet, upon discovering that each of them has something peculiar and is facing the same struggles, they are reassured and no longer feel alone. And so, the horns form a "crown": they are no longer something monstrous to be ashamed of, but a symbol, almost of pride, of what one is facing.

🎶 This moment of my name being called 🎶

This is the first time TXT mentions “names”, a main motif of the storyline we are going to further elaborate.

The symbolism of the colors, mirrors, windows and props in the music video announce events of the storyline we're going to elaborate later as well.

– CAT & DOG

🎶 Oh my God, what the heck is this feeling? / I become a puppy when I see you 🎶

Believe it or not, even this one has relevance to the storyline! 😆

TXT's are dealing with their first crush, they want to be with them always, they are clingy like a puppy looking for affection. It ties to 0x1=Lovesong, Lo$er=Lo♡er and Good Boy Gone Bad, but also to Puma! As we will see, the "dog" represents their "good side", while the "puma" their "bad side".

obligatory FEEL LIKE CINDERELLA NAEGABYONJE LET'S PLAY FOREVER I JUST WANNA BE YO' DOG WOOF WOOF WOOF

Now let's move on to...

THE DREAM CHAPTER: MAGIC

– ANGEL OR DEVIL

🎶 Tell me, what should I choose / Either angel and devil / This struggle in my head 🎶

As it can be read in Cat&Dog lyrics, that are also referenced in this song in the third verse during Yeonjun’s rap, TXT usually act naughty (devil), but with their crush they behave like angels. In this song they talk about struggling with convincing themselves to confess to them.

🎶 "It's gotta be you", "You're the one love" (...) / Again the angel says, "firstly slow down / What if you lose all, forever?" 🎶

TXT's good side (the angel) starts to doubt their friendship and to think that maybe their love for their crush actually is salvation.

🎶 Spinning round and round again, the worries of Moebius 🎶

Reference is also made to the Moebius strip. What is that? Common strips, seen as surfaces like any other, always have two faces. If we walk on one face, we cannot find ourselves on the other, right? In the Möbius strip, on the other hand, you can! This is because it is obtained by joining the two ends of a strip after having given it half a twist.

The Moebius strip has been used in relation to time travel theories, as a possible way to have a loop, specifically an infinite number of possible attempts to change the course of events.

Whether the Moebius time loop is a single universe, or that each "side" is a parallel universe, is something debatable.

So, what does this have to do with TXT? As we will see, someone in the group has the ability to have premonitions about the future and this leads him/the group to try to change the course of events, especially by rewinding time.

In terms of the game they are playing:

rewinding time = playing again;

parallel universe = different modes of action to try change the results.

This song connects to the fantasy storyline not only though lyrics, but also with the drawings in the music video:

the Cat

TXT are divided into two sides: Yeonjun and Taehyun have devilish attributes, Soobin and Beomgyu have angelic attributes. This could symbolise which side of them, good or bad, has more power over the other.

HueningKai, on the contrary, is standing in the middle of the group and has both horns and angel wings, that can be either angel wings, as we see in Nap of a Star (his good side), or demon wings, as we will see in Eternally (his bad side).

– MAGIC ISLAND

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🎶 Remember our star song / We were stars in it / The melody that was shining with dreams / Don't forget, forever 🎶

When TXT met again as teenagers but they don't remember the promise (it’s a song, quick, act surprised!) they made as children, nor that they already met.

🎶 Our clumsy promises / A small island from which secrets began 🎶

In the music video we see that Soobin starts having strange dreams/nightmares about the five of them, but he can't seem to open up to the group about it. This is where they start keeping secrets from each other.

In the meantime, they have discovered a magical portal, in this case the train (that references Harry Potter), which leads to a magical world, where they can escape from reality: Magic Island (reminiscent of "Neverland" by Peter Pan), where they spend their time playing.

IMPORTANT DETAILS in the video:

(min 6:40) Soobin's cell phone shows 5:54 pm, one minute after 5:53 pm aka blue hour, the moment when the space that separates the real world from the magical one it's thinner and allows you to travel between them! So, when TXT travel between Magic Island and reality, there’s always going to be 5:53 and the sunset involved.

Soobin hears strange noises: if we connect his peculiar feature, long elf ears, with the dreams, it symbolizes his prophetic being!

Yeonjun hears it too though, and this time it can be noticed that it resembles the sound of a bell. Who often wears bells around their necks? Cats. Moreover, in the story of Peter Pan, the fairy who always accompanies him is called Tinkerbell and it is her magic dust that tempts children, because it can allow them to fly. We could then overlap the elements: Peter Pan = Cat, Tinkerbell = Temptations.

Why are only the two of them aware of this disturbance? We said that Soobin perceives it thanks to his prescient nature, Yeonjun because he is the most tempted of all and he is the one who will make a deal with the Cat.

Yeonjun injures his finger while lighting the bonfire and we need to keep that in mind for the next song!

TXT then have the great idea of making fireworks, in a forest, starting a fire: it can be seen as a metaphor for the destruction that their dark sides can bring, and for the troubles that adolescence leads us to make.

At this point the Cat finally shows up and, in the form of a train, runs over the group. The Cat is a shape-shifter 👀 and he's the one that brought TXT to Magic Island, like Peter Pan did with the Lost Boys.

Each of them is struck by excruciating pain in the parts of the body where their peculiar features are, and in the end, they lay on the ground, dead... in terms of (video)game they lost the current match.

At the end of the video we see a dragon, which symbolizes the biggest obstacle they will have to face. In the (video)game version it's basically the final boss.

Going back to the lyrics for a second…

🎶 A familiar and unfamiliar river (…) / Remember our star song (…) / Don't forget that night / You can't forget this place (…) / Remember us here? (…) / That cat with the different eyes (Mm-mm) / I'm tired of those eyes 🎶

TXT reset the game (or die at Magic Island and then come back to it again) trying to win against the Cat and everytime they do it they forget what happened last time they played: everytime they play as if it was tge first time. With the concept of R, AR, and VR of Minisode 1 this was further confirmed.

This also ties in with their ultimate goal, which is to remember their promise, the star’s song.

– RUN AWAY

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🎶 The train is departing / Bibbidi bobbidi our magic island / When we go through this tunnel / When we open our eyes / Our dreams become reality 🎶

TXT want to escape from real life because it's too boring, painful and scary ...the amount of details in this video is scary... we'll only talk about the essential ones:

HueningKai draws two lines on the ground with chalks, one yellow and one blue, which intertwine and surround the school, with TXT inside of it. I won't tell you what that means yet because we'll come back to it later, but keep it in mind 👀

Soobin instead draws a door on the blackboard: a reference to the portals that lead them to Magic Island. We will soon find out why he is the one who draws it. When he puts on the 3D glasses, the door takes shape and opens, and a pentagram appears, a magical symbol consisting of a five-pointed star generally inscribed in a circle and used as a ritual tool.

Remember that Yeonjun injured his finger on Magic Island? His finger is injured at the beginning of Run Away! After TXT died at Magic Island, they went back to the real world, not remembering of having been there, as we explained earlier. If we talk in video game terms it makes more sense: their character lost the game and Yeojun’s got injuried so he has less HP (life points) than before. As for D&D, whenever a character dies or mess up or gets a low roll when rolling the dice, they can go back in time and start again, and this is exactly what they do in Run Away.

Besides, Yeonjun is the one that lights the bonfire in Magic Island, and in this video he is the one who sets things on fire. What does it symbolize? That he's the one who plays with fire, who takes risks and gets into trouble, even if his intentions are good.

Beomgyu puts a plaster on Yeonjun: he is the healer of the group in terms of powers. He’s also the one who brings the fire extinguisher to put out the burning book, but the flames do not go out: Beomgyu can't fix Yeonjun's or others troubles, no matter how hard he tries. The thorns on his shoulders therefore also represent him taking on the problems of others.

Taehyun instead reads a book titled "how to put out the fire": he is the rational one, the observer, the investigator, and we know that his characteristic is the eye.

At the end of the video, they go back to Magic Island during the sunset. This time the magical passage is a door at the bottom of the pool instead of the train.

Again, Yeonjun is the cause of another door (symbolizing coming of age) catching fire, while he leaves behind a teddy bear (symbolizing childhood) which Taehyun picks up.

The "rewinding time" motif returns in the lyrics:

🎶 When this night is nearly ending / Rewind the clock, rewind now / The forbidden games and this magic hour

As we said, TXT move to Magic Island during the sunset, but when night falls they are forced to return to the real world. And so, they roll back the clock (or restart the game) to return, something they shouldn't do ("forbidden games") since this way they are stuck in a loop of childhood, but they should grow up.

– RUN AWAY JAPANESE VER.

The video introduces us to the concept that the fantasy aspect of the story doesn't happen in real life: Magic Island is actually the location of the game they play after school to escape their reality. I still haven't deepened this one, so this is all i'm gonna say about it!

– THE DOOM'S NIGHT

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This is where The Dooms Night animation comes in, summarizing their story in all its versions.

Details we are interested in:

connects to Webtoon/webnovel for the idols using magic;

there is an 18-sided dice which symbolizes the parallel universes, and it’s magical: it can open portals and show visions of the future to Soobin, the one who finds it;

Kai is approached by an evil shadow in a moment of "weakness": it's a temptation that is trying to bring out the bad side of him.

Yeonjun makes a deal with the Cat: what is it about? Relating to the Webtoon/Wattpad, having more power to protect and save his friends from enemies, but it comes at a price...

we see TXT playing as children, each of them has a role in the game:

Yeonjun = paladin/knight

Soobin = elf archer/ranger

Beomgyu = druid/mentalist

Taehyun = sorcerer/adventurer

HueningKai = mystic/bard

there's the dragon, and it turns out that the weapon to defeat him is "the song of a star" aka the promise they made as children.

Next we have...

THE DREAM CHAPTER: ETERNITY

– CAN'T YOU SEE ME

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🎶 Can’t you see me? / Like on that magical day, say “Believe me” / (…) My friends don't understand me, no 🎶

Remember when with Run Away we talked about Soobin not being able to open up to the members about his dreams? Well, this makes him feel isolated, distance is created between the group as time goes by because everyone feels there are secrets between them. In the video we see exactly that.

Details we are interested in:

"who's a liar? " sings Soobin, and in the choreography he crosses his fingers behind his back: he is the liar, because he doesn't open up completely with the others and therefore omits knowledge that concerns them all.

the lyrics refer to the promise they made as children, e.g. "like on that magical day, say believe me"

Beomgyu with the red light = his dark side. Beomgyu is another member of the group who feels left out, we'll go into that later with another song. Also, him being a druid, which is related to nature, explains his duality: he can be the kindest and most caring person in the world (healing nature), but at the same time he can become violent (cruel nature): we see him smothering Taehyun with a blanket. Why him? The two often clash in the storyline, as we will again see, because they see things and act in opposite ways. It could also be because Taehyun discovered a secret of Beomgyu and the latter feels threatened.

Yeonjun whose hands are covered in tomato sauce, which stands for blood: Yeonjun tries to protect the group and, although his intentions are good, he gets into big trouble putting them all in danger. When fire appears in the video it is particular linked to Yeonjun (the oven, the house on fire), reconnecting to what we said earlier with Run Away. Yeonjun says "save me": he begs to save him from it all.

In the bridge Soobin sings "bad bad, hoping this is just a painful dream". In the concept trailer of this album there is Drama playing in the background, and the only line sung is "I dreamed this drama": Soobin's dreams are coming true, being premonitions.

In the final pose of the choreo, if you look closely, it seems that they are removing masks from their faces: each of them is wearing a mask because they are not sincere with the others, their dark side takes over.

– ETERNALLY

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🎶 please stop this recurring nightmare everynight / tell me the meaning of this sad dream / my heart deep in this memory maze, save me 🎶

There is a LOT to say here. The video (which is 19 minutes, after all) is divided into sections and we're going to follow them.

1) Night of the Last day

First of all we see TXT with their monstrous features in a dark version, they are in a stadium destroyed by the dragon (as seen in The Doom's Night we talked about earlier). Soobin looks around and has a book in his hand, takes it to Yeonjun but sees him wounded and gets scared, waking up: this is one of Soobin's visions of the future, the Doom’s Day in which they will have to face their worst enemy.

This song is also connected to the Webtoon/Wattpad because we see TXT as idols in the video. Now, when the alarm goes off in the rehearsal room, not just Soobin, but everyone has visions. Important details:

the clock goes back from 10 to 9 with the second’s hand;

Soobin sees writing on the glass that says "Remember my name".

2) Song of a Star

Soobin finds himself in an amusement park and finds the magic dice on the ground. Then, a little boy arrives: it's HueningKai as a child, Soobin recognizes him by the way he wears his shoes. This upsets him, due to the fact that he doesn't remember the past and doesn't fully understand those dreams that are exhausting him.

A ghost girl comes to console him. As we said before, TXT think that their crush is salvation, that's why they identify the "girl" with the Star. But she's also a representation of MOAs who stand by TXT’s side and support them.

3) Promises

Yeonjun finds himself in the destroyed stadium and sees himself dead as well as the eyes of the Cat. He sees the consequences of his actions.

At the end of his section it reads: "I thought it was salvation, then": Yeonjun is going to think that the pact is the way to save himself and the others, when instead is going to bring them more harm.

3) Room n.17

Beomgyu is in the midst of infinite mirrors, a reference to the parallel universes, but also to the reflection of himself and therefore to its doppelganger, its dark side which we talked about earlier. The mirrors then turn into a door, number 17, and he peeks inside seeing a future version of himself trying to protect a book from an unidentified person who wants to get it. Suddenly the rage becomes such that thorns sprout on his back. The present Beomgyu takes out his phone to film, while the other Beomgyu appears to have attacked and knocked out the enemy, before turning right at the camera.

5) Moratorium* of Rest

(*a period of time during which a particular activity is stopped)

Taehyun ends in a flower meadow in the dark. In the distance he spots a familiar figure: it's Yeonjun. He calls him but he doesn't answer: realizing that there is something strange he approaches him. Yeonjun is unconscious, wounded in the throat and covered by brambles and flowers: it's a similar scene to the one we saw in The Doom's Night animation, only that here Yeonjun is dead, confirmed by the flowers that change into a skull.

At the end of his section it reads: "We will find a way" (to save Yeonjun and all of them too)

5) Girl of Eternity

HueningKai looks at the door Soobin disappeared from earlier, yelling his name. When he crosses the threshold, he finds himself in a corridor similar to the one Soobin went through: it is reminiscent of the effect that distorts surroundings into lines when traveling very fast, usually at the speed of light, through space-time. This makes me think that this is set in a more distant future.

Then stairs appear with a door at the top: once opened, he finds himself in the sky, and in front of him there's another door suspended in the air, from which the rest of the group comes out. Kai tries to walk in the void to reach them and his feet find a surface that undulates like water.

I still haven't fully understood the meaning of Kai's vision, also because it seems connected with the new chapter, The Name Chapter.

7) Beginning of the End

Finally, TXT are all back in the rehearsal room, the clock starts ticking forward again, and Soobin re-emerges through the door of the room. Everyone seems to not remember their visions (like it always happens with the memories when they leave Magic Island) and goes back to what they were doing before. Soobin, on the contrary, looks at the dice in his hand and at the mirror. Beomgyu films him. The song restarts during its dark verse: on the other side of the mirror is the dark side of TXT.

– PUMA

🎶 West side, east side / Didn't know where to, where to go / West side, east side / It doesn't matter anymore 🎶

It is about a real event: a puma was shot dead by the police after escaping from its enclosure at Daejeon Zoo in September 2018. In addition to taking part in the protest for the incident, "the perspective of the puma finally gaining freedom only to meeting its tragic ending depicts the harsh reality that the TXT members have experienced since they debuted in March 2019, where they were faced with heavy scrutiny from people online as Big Hit Entertainment's latest boy group after BTS." (c. Genius lyrics) This can be found in particular in Yeonjun's rap.

🎶 Still too young to stand alone / This world is a jungle full of warriors / The sight is aiming at your throat / A thousand eyes are accessing the internet / Be careful, your enemies spread in an instant / How long does it take to reach your dream? / Only gunshots spread with that question all the time / So that I can continue to breathe, again run up 🎶

For the storyline it is relevant because it is linked to what we said before with Angel or Devil: the crossroad at which TXT find themselves, having to decide whether to stay on the "good" path or move to the "bad" one. With Puma they seem to chose the second one: they are rebelling and escaping in search of freedom, however dangerous it may be. In fact, they end up making the deal with the Cat, that promises more power and freedom when he actually has them under its control.

– DRAMA JAPANESE VER.

Many theorize that it is set in a parallel universe, in any case it is linked to what is told and seen in CYSM. In the video Beomgyu joins the group but is usually not included in the activities and left behind. He abruptly realizes it when he falls off his bike and the others don't go to help him as he would like/dream.

I put Drama at the end and not before because it connects perfectly to the next song, where we see Beomgyu being the target of others' jokes and feeling left out...

MINISODE1: BLUE HOUR

– BLUE HOUR

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🎶 In that sky / The orange-glowing magic / Before it comes to an end / Freeze this moment / I wanna stay here / In the gap between the two worlds / I wanna be trapped in magic / Clue to stop the sun 🎶

TXT are at Magic Island sitting in a tree that refers to that of the Lost Boys of Peter Pan. The song revolves around 5:53, when the sun sets in October in Korea, the blue hour in which, as we said, you can cross the border between the magical world and the real one. TXT would like to always stay at Magic Island, not by continuing rewinding the time (or replaying the game) but stopping it (stay inside the game forever), but they can't do that.

🎶 The glow of the sunset on my time machine / I know it that the end will come / The sun is down, down / Before you disappear into the night / I take you into my eyes 🎶

Once the night falls, Magic Island shuts down, and we know that means they have to go back to the real world. Beomgyu, who sings "I know that the end will come", seems to be the only one who is fully aware of it, an important detail for the future.

🎶 At the hour between dog and wolf 🎶

Is a very interesting line: this expression is taken from a French saying “L'heure entre chien et loup” and refers to the moments after sunset when the sky darkens and vision becomes unclear, making it difficult to distinguish between dogs and wolves, friends and foe (c. Genius lyrics annotations). We said that TXT are doubting their friendship after all.

But this also connects to the fight between their "good" and "bad" sides: we said that the docile and obedient "dog" is the "good side", while the wild and dangerous "puma", and in this case the "wolf", represents the "bad side".

In the beginning, Soobin sings:

🎶 I really hate the awkwardness, I just laugh / Baby, I know we were special 🎶

Refers to the tensions that now characterize the dynamics of the group. They look back with nostalgia to the days when this was not the case.

🎶 That look in your eyes, like an emptied gift box 🎶

This instead refers to the real name of one of the members 👀 we'll talk about it later.

At the end of the music video we see that autumn has come to Magic Island: the end of their youth is approaching and they can't help it.

– BLUE HOUR JAPANESE VER.

Very similar to the Korean one and I haven't delved into it yet, so let's move on for now.

– WE LOST THE SUMMER

🎶 Cause we lost the summer / When we lost each other / Return my seasons / Oh, it's all gone 🎶

It's not only a song perfectly depicting teenagers and young adults (but adults as well) feelings during the COVID19 Pandemic, it also references their storyline.

We saw that with Blue Hour autumn arrived, and We Lost The Summer brings winter... it's time to explain the seasons motif!

In literature and art, often the seasons have been used as a metaphor for the stages of life:

spring/summer = youth, adolescence

autumn/winter = growth, ageing, adulthood

So, Blue Hour announces that their time on Magic Island, and therefore as children, is coming to an end, and that they will have to face the transition to winter, to adulthood. They're losing the "summer" of their life, and that means losing their escape, Magic Island, as well, because it's not enough anymore for them to escape reality, as we will deepen with The Chaos Chapter and The Name Chapter.

The lyrics focus on the seasons motif for growing up and on the loss of Magic Island:

We also see s blue butterfly, related to Beomgyu but also Taehyun: in Native American cultures it symbolize the transition from summer to winter.

🎶 We lost the sunset, now don't know what to do / Our time has lost the weather / I'm standing still in winter / Eternal winter / I want to see you again, our bright summer / Long gone we lost the summer 🎶

The loss of Magic Island in real life context can be interpreted as TXT not being able to play the game because everywhere is closed due to lockdown, included the arcade where we saw them play in Run Away Japanese version!

Another detail: mirrors are also included, which, especially in the final scene where Yeonjun looks through it in the dark, refers to their dark sides. These are triggered by the loss of Magic Island, the place where they usually can escape together to avoid being crushed by reality, but now can't reach for two reasons: first, adulthood is approaching, second, the lockdown forces TXT to separate and only see eachother through a screen.

THE CHAOS CHAPTER: FREEZE

The title of this album references two things:

The arrival of winter and therefore their adulthood

The "fight, flight or freeze" instinctive response of our bodies and minds to danger and stressful situations. According to the title, TXT's response to their reality is going to be "freeze" aka the inability to move or act against it, but it's going to be "flight" as well, as we see in...

— 0X1=LOVESONG

TXT are now stuck in reality dealing with the problems that characterise the transition from adolescence to adulthood, but that doesn't mean they have abandoned the magical fantasies that give them comfort.

The main character of this music video is Yeonjun. We see him alone at home, playing videogames to distract himself while his parents are fighting. He then decides to escape by stealing his parents car keys and go for a ride. We see him with the members, but at the end of the music video it is actually revealed that he was alone the whole time: Yeonjun was imaging being with his friends, who turn reality into a fantasy when they escape together. This doesn't mean that the others are gone or dead, they're simply not together, missing eachother and going through the same kind of despair, depression, loneliness, as we can interpret from the clips where they're all separated but together with the others in the distance.

We also see Yeonjun alone in his room watching his fish inside the aquarium, and, later on, one ends up in his room: Yeonjun is imagining of being inside the aquarium. That's the same thing that happens with TXT seeing fish over them while in the pool, and with Kai seeing it on the sky: the aquarium represents the comforting fantasy they run away to. They can't go to Magic Island, so they imagine it.

Yeonjun gets so lost in his fantasy that, when Taehyun falls into the pool and then removes his cast, Yeonjun snaps out of it and doesn't see the fish anymore: he's now imaging his friends being there with him as he wishes. Fantasy and reality are mixing together.

He then starts dancing, and this is a reference to a movie called "Days of Being Wild", where music and dancing is used as a way of expressing the isolation, solitude, lack of direction and belonging, experienced by the characters. That's why Yeonjun walks into complete darkness: he's falling into the black hole of emptiness inside himself, the hole that is referenced in the quote in the beginning of the music video.

Unlike the video, which focuses on friendship bringing relief and happiness, the lyrics tells us about the crush we mentioned at the beginning:

🎶 In this world of zero / I know you're my one and only / In this endless darkness like / Oh my god, so holy / From the tip of my fingers / Everything runs far away / My life before you was a mess / Couldn't win one round of this chess 🎶

TXT believe that their salvation is given by the love they feel for this person. They are used to being "losers" in this life, but they feel like "winners" with them.

🎶 Now I can't stop thinking 'bout you / When I'm sinking alone / Angel who one day appeared to me / Take me away to your hometown / I know it's real, I can feel it 🎶

The pre-chorus references their friendship as well, though: in the music video we see that Yeonjun is "sinking alone" while thinking about his friends, and the "angel" is the same referenced in Crown and in Nap of A Star: it's TXT, and especially Hueningkai, that saved him when he was in his lowest point, sharing his burden. The "take me away to your hometown" could also be interpreted as asking the others to escape together at Magic Island, that feels like a home to them.

🎶 I'm full of problems, love sick / No way to go / I was fine to die / I'm a loser in this game / The only (one) rule of this world / Save me / Take my hand / Please use me like a drug (I know I love you) 🎶

The chorus is foreshadowing for The Name Chapter: Temptation, TXT are willing to be used and consumed by this love in order not to suffer anymore. "Save me" recalls Can't You see Me.

THE CHAOS CHAPTER: FIGHT OR ESCAPE

– LO$ER=LO♡ER

is a prequel-sequel of 0x1=Lovesong! Especially because in the music video we see how Taehyun got hurt and his "LOSER/LO♡ER" signature on the cast was made.

( work in progress )

Frost's music video then came out, anticipating and connecting to the new chapter of the story, The Name Chapter! It's part of The Chaos Chapter, but I think storyline-wise its music video comes after, because the events it contains depend on discoveries that are going to be made during The Name Chapter. Let's talk about Minisode 2 before talking about it then!

MINISODE2: THURSDAY'S CHILD

– GOOD BOY GONE BAD

– GOOD BOY GONE VAD JAPANESE VERSION

THE NAME CHAPTER

– CONCEPT TRAILER

youtube

First of all, it's important to specify that it doesn't only concern the album that will be released now, Temptation, but also the following ones that will be part of this chapter (two more mini-albums are expected, like for The Dream Chapter).

We've already mentioned Peter Pan a couple of times before: their story, with the fear of growing up, taking refuge in a magical world that you don't want to leave (Neverland), the temptations to stay there are all clear references to it.

This new chapter is heavily inspired by fairytales, not only Peter Pan, but others as well, such as Alice in Wonderland and Land of Oz.

Let's analyze what happens in the video, going over things we've already seen and adding more...

1) we are at sunset = blue hour = the moment in which one can pass between reality and the magical world;

2) eyes of two different colors = Cat, the creepy smile references Alice's cat. Cat by the window: who is at the window calling the Lost Boys? Peter Pan, who tempted them to go to Neverland, like the Cat tempted TXT to go to Magic Island.

3) blue/purple tunnel/portal: open passage to Magic Island, we saw it in The Dooms Night and we will see it again shortly;

4) we hear a whistle: it is the "call of the devil" (in the past, whistling was associated with the devil), the one who tempts TXT, therefore always the Cat;

5) we hear a reading of the original dark version of Peter Pan and see Yeonjun=Wendy manipulated and tempted by the Cat=Peter Pan;

6) Yeonjun/Wendy brings the rest of TXT (Wendy's siblings), and the Cat/Peter Pan "teaches" them to fly: instead of Tinkerbell's pixie dust, he uses a red potion, connected to the Webtoon/Webnovel. TXT now fly to Magic Island/Neverland;

7) while the narrator says that "Forever will never end (at Neverland/Magic Island)", Beomgyu looks at us and he's the only one who does it, like in Blue Hour: he's the only one of the group aware that sooner or later they will have to leave the magical world.

8) Remember we talked about mirrors and bad alter egos? We see TXT with their doppelgangers, which have the black feathers and masks we had symbolically seen in CYSM, on opposite sides of the mirrors (=the hangers).

Let's analyze the choreography:

The good/white TXTs move and the bad/black TXTs copy them, but then the blacks grab them by the arm and take their place. The good/white TXTs then enter the same side as the bad/black TXTs and HueningKai guides them to put the mirrors one after the other in line: what we saw with Beomgyu in Eternally. Now, if you think about it, even when you go to a place (it is frequent in elevators) where two mirrors are positioned opposite to each other, they create a potentially infinite corridor whose end you cannot see. Remember the chalk lines Kai drew around the school in Run Away? HueningKai locks himself and TXT inside a labyrinth.

Here they fight, first their own dark sides and they win: this should mean that their dark sides are now totally part of them, and therefore TXT can switch from one side of the mirror to the other freely, without being tempted or deceived by anyone: they are the ones who choose it. TXT have embraced their inner Peter Pan, rather than totally rejecting it.

But then, they fight among themselves and the order in which they do it is important:

Yeonjun and Kai, being the most tempted, unite;

Kai fights himself, his fully good side specifically;

After that, Kai collides with Soobin and prevails, (temptations prevail over knowledge);

Followed by Beomgyu, who instead manages to prevail over Kai (awareness of having to leave Neverland prevails over the desire to stay);

Kai is replaced by Taehyun, the one who saw the darkest premonition. The two fight until Beomgyu prevails (the awareness prevails over the fear of leaving), or, perhaps, Taehyun surrenders;

Finally, Beomgyu passes to the other side of the mirror to find only his reflection on the opposite side, which does not react to a possible attack: he hasn't to fight with himself because he always accepted the reality of things.

(I used colors to try making this less confusing, hope it helped 🥲)

Based on this fight, I already connected the names of the versions (Daydream, Nightmare, Farewell, Lullaby) of the album TNC: Temptation with each member, here. I recommend you to read it but only AFTER this summary, because we still need to talk about their "true names".

NOW, the fight scene it's a vision of the future that is not Soobin's, but Beomgyu's, who then opens his eyes.

TXT are now in a flying house, their refuge at Magic Island (which refers to the Lost Boys tree, but also to Dorothy's house from the Wizard of Oz). The house begins to collapse: Magic Island is no longer safe, they destroyed it too many times while rewinding time/replaying the game: they can't postpone growing up anymore.

It is also a metaphor for the tensions within the group, the things left unsaid, the secrets, the isolation, which have led to deep rifts in the friendship between the boys.

Soobin urges the group to leave and everyone follows. Last one is Kai who jumps… ready to enter the labyrinth.

– NEW LOGO VIDEO

Another important detail for what will happen in Temptation has been included in the new logo video! Translation of what Yeonjun says, both in reverse and played normally:

1) “You run after the shadow uselessly”: refers to the shadow that Peter Pan keeps losing. In the beginning of the concept trailer Yeonjun=Wendy is the only one without a shadow: he is losing it like Peter because of the temptations. Talking about it is his bad side, driven by temptations.

2) “It's sweet, but I should find my name": Yeonjun’s good side says that temptation is sweet, but he knows he has to resist and find a way to do it. Why does he talk about "finding the name"?

Having knowledge of one's true name gives you power over them, and knowing your own true name enhances your power and gives you more control over yourself, making it harder to fall into temptation.

Often, in order to get out of a labyrinth, to pass over an obstacle or solve a quest, you have to guess something, a secret word, usually by solving a riddle...

– FROST

youtube

🎶 Drawn by the name, I stand in chaos /My fate is what? What's the right answer, really / In an unfamiliar name / There's fate or something else / Meanings that I don't understand 🎶

(I can't add the full lyrics here lol, but I truly recommend you fully read them because they are very exhaustive!)

It's strongly related to the Webtoon/Wattpad storyline, and it's very important to The Name Chapter because it relates to the theme of "true names".

In the video, the spring nature of Magic Island (which we see in the photos of Temptation, Daydream version) freezes: winter arrives, and so their adulthood.

In the video we see TXT escaping from the portal while it's snowing, but then we go back to the past, when they go to Magic Island before it freezes...

Soobin finds a purple/blue glass sphere: it has the same colors as the portal, and what did we say creates/opens portals? The dice.

Taehyun's eye shines purple/blue: his special feature.

Kai finds a playground-style game (a reference to childhood) and sees blue butterflies.

Yeonjun finds a dog, and we'll come back to this shortly.

Beomgyu turns towards us spectators, again, and a gust of wind carries away the flowers. On Magic Island there are dry leaves on the ground, it's Autumn

Then, all together they find a fortune teller's tent, who gives them cards that make them have visions that symbolize their "true names". In the Webtoon/Wattpad novel they are given the riddles to interpret to find out what they are:

Soobin = "the one who is believed by no one"

Yeonjun = "the one who shall not eat dogs"

Beomgyu = "what was in the deepest part of the box"

Taehyun = "the one hanging upside down from an old tree with deep roots"

Hueningkai = "the one who builds the labyrinth"

In the visions of the video we see:

Yeonjun is in the desert surrounded by dog footprints and has to fight against a huge sand snake to survive (the snake of Adam and Eve = the temptations = the Cat);

Taehyun hanging from the tree and then falling down;

Kai with mirrors. The mathematical formulas reference designing the construction of the labyrinth. He is tempted by his doppelganger, enters the mirror and chases it. In the end he, that has now both sides of himself united, breaks the mirror and exits.

Soobin is in a place on fire, sees a rideable horse for children and through the glass sphere/dice he sees a child riding it: the visions of their childhood being in danger.

Beomgyu and the looped box: after all the things that come out, what remains is only him... did you understood what it could be? 👀 (we'll explain it in a second)

TXT wake up and winter has arrived on Magic Island: they escape and with the portal they return to the real world. But Taehyun takes away one item from Magic Island: the fortune teller's BOOK. What Soobin has and Beomgyu protects in Eternally!

We find it again in the Webtoon and in the webnovel: it is a very ancient and powerful spell book that Taehyun studies and uses. It can also be seen in his hand in The Doom's Night when TXT play with each other as children.

— TXT's TRUE NAMES

Their real names, and therefore the solution of the riddles, were actually revealed in their early days, in their individual debut trailers via morse code: they have been under everyone's noses since the start...

Soobin = Tomorrow (based on a Greek myth: Cassandra had the power of foresight, so she had visions of the future, but she wasn't believed by anyone)

Hueningkai = Secret (refers to the Greek myth of the Minotaur, a "monster" that resembles TXT due to its peculiar characteristics, because it was a boy born with a bull's head. He was the son of King Minos, who had a labyrinth built to hide him, also hiding the secret of escape it)

Beomgyu = Hope (the box is that of Pandora, who after opening it unleashes all the evils in the world, and the thing that is at the bottom of it and will come out after everything else is hope. And we have seen that Beomgyu is the last one left after the fights to escape the labyrinth: he is the group last hope.)

Yeonjun = Promise (the riddle is a saying that stands for humans who behave like animals and are willing to use even cruel means to get what they want: what Yeonjun shouldn't do)

Taehyun = Clue (referring to Odin, the Nordic god who hung himself upside down on Yggdrasil, the sacred tree that held up the cosmos, to obtain the "clue", the runes, which would give him all the wisdom and ability to be able to develop writing)

– 0X1=LOVESONG Japanese ver

youtube

I think it sees TXT falling down to reality from Magic Island, after they abondoned it once and for all. While they are performing they all have blood in their uniforms: they're all rather dead or injuried at the end of the game. Beomgyu is the only one in an hospital: he's the only survivor, the only player with still some HPs left, after all, we saw that he won over the others in The Name Chapter Concept trailer. Taehyun, on the contrary, has angel wings and in the end he disappeared, leaving his uniform behind surrounded by feathers on the ground: he fully died during the game, perhaps sacrificing himself. A bit more about this, here.

Now they are back to the real world, forever.

And we have, for now, reached the end of our journey! Now we just have to wait and see what The Name Chapter will bring us in detail (and see if my headcanons and theories are right lol).

Thank you so much for reading!!

READ NEXT -> The Name Chapter: Temptation Analysis

Masterlist

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macgyvermedical · 1 year ago

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can you maybe tell us about the history of trans healthcare? I'm writing a trans character in an old west setting and don't know exactly what would be available to her

So this is a really cool question.

There have been (what we would today call) transgender and gender-non-conforming people as far back as we have records that can describe them. Depending on where in the world a person was and what culture they belonged to, being trans or gender-non-conforming may have been something lived openly, or it may have been something more hidden.

This makes it difficult to cover all of trans history in one tumblr post, so I'll focus on 2 things- trans history during the western expansion (the time between 1803 and 1893 across what is now the western USA, often referred to as the "old west" "wild west" or "frontier"), and trans healthcare access as it is recorded in the USA.

So first let's talk a little about trans people on the frontier.

[Trans Woman of the Frontier: Mrs. Nash]

Simply put, there were a lot of them. Or, at least, there were a lot more of them living on the frontier than there were on the east coast. Many accounts tend to be of what we today would call trans men. Earlier, historians often brushed their existence off as a practicality- If a woman wanted a decent-paying job on the range, of course they would change their name, wear men's clothing, and act as a man.

But this doesn't explain the fact that many of them lived their personal lives as men too, often taking wives and continuing to live lives as men even after being arrested multiple times for cross dressing, or after the conclusion of their career. Look up "Harry Allen" if you want a real man's man on the frontier.

In fact, today one of the reasons historians think there were more trans people out west was because news of these arrests often made it back to the east coast. Closeted trans people reading these (often sensationalized) stories were essentially promised a life and future on the frontier with people like them- a life and future they could move and restart easily if they happened to be, you know, arrested for transness.

It also doesn't explain the trans women. While there are fewer records of trans women on the frontier, they did exist. And since women could typically hide more easily assuming they had an understanding husband (or beard), that kind of makes sense. Look up "Mrs. Nash" who worked as a laundress and took 3 husbands over her lifetime. She was only outed as trans upon her death.

Long story short, it would be very historically accurate to have a trans person on the frontier, and while it might have been reasonable to assume they could make a life there, officially transness wasn't particularly well accepted by the establishment.

Trans healthcare on the frontier was unfortunately not really a thing beyond what today we would call social transition- the adoption of new clothing, a new name, and new speech patterns.

This was because the first medical transition care wouldn't occur until 1918 in Germany and wouldn't move to the US until the 1940s, half a century after the frontier was declared closed.

In 1922 the first successful gender-affirming surgery was performed. It was an orchiectomy (removal of the testes) on a woman named Dora Richter in Germany.

In 1931 Dora completed her transition with several more successful surgeries. This was also the year Lili Elbe (of The Danish Girl fame) passed away from infection related to a gender affirming surgery (why did they decide to tell her story instead of Dora's?? Dora literally worked in trans healthcare for most of her career??).

Anyway. In the 1940's Dr. Alfred Kinsey began his study of human sexuality and gender in Indiana, USA. He was the first person to use the term "transsexual", which gave a name to the experience of someone who's gender did not align with their sex assigned at birth.

Hormone therapy in the US was introduced by Dr. Henry Benjamin sometime in the 1950s, along with the first US citizens travelling to Europe to complete gender affirming surgeries. Dr. Benjamin published the first papers on hormone therapy in 1967, prompting the openings of about 40 "gender clinics" throughout the US. Unfortunately, many of these clinics provided gender-affirming care in name only- the larger ones (like the Johns Hopkins Gender Identity Clinic) getting over 100 applications per year for surgical interventions, but providing only about 5-7 per year after a rigorous process of proving one's transgender status.

By the late 1960's and early 1970's, many US trans people were choosing to circumvent the larger medical centers and either going abroad or using smaller specialty clinics that could do surgeries more discreetly and were less interested in the research value of trans people.

In 1979, many of the larger gender clinics shut down after a paper (with very poor methodology) stated that trans people were no better off mentally after transition. This, though awful, sparked Dr. Benjamin to start the organization that would become the World Professional Association for Transgender Health, which publishes the standards by which gender affirming patients are treated today.

After this point, clinics slowly rebuilt. From a low of 2-3 in the mid 1990s to hundreds of clinics open today. The Johns Hopkins' clinic reopened in 2016.

R E F E R E N C E S

#transgender #LGBTQ #history #westerns #wild west #writing reference #whump reference #hospital life #trans #healthcare

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teejaysnow · 2 months ago

Text

I promised henrik.holm.news over at instagram to translate the podcast Henrik did with his trainer earlier this month, so for those of you who haven’t read it over there already, this is the result. (And as always - I’m a Swede translating Norwegian into English, so prepare yourself accordingly 🇸🇪🇳🇴🇬🇧)

Laminofly: In the Book of Life of Henrik Holm, which chapter are we at now?

Henrik: I think we’re at a build up chapter.

L: A what?

H: I look at my life as chapters going: Build up, tear down, build up, tear down…

L: Okay?

H: So now, I’m building a table where it’s possible to eat.

L: What’s that a metaphor for?

H: For finding some kind of stability in life. Because I haven’t, like, chosen a very traditional way.

L: No.

H: So… I realised I needed more legs to stand on. So then it’s nice to visualise it like a table instead of visualising it like balls to juggle because that’s an exhausting visualisation. I can see that you’re grinning now, but it’s not that kind of balls I’m talking about, Lamin.

L: So. The title of this chapter, that is a build up chapter, is…

H: Let’s build a table.

L: Let’s build a table. What is it that defines this chapter the most?

H: Work.

L: Okay.

H: Working at trying to improve myself on a lot of fronts at the same time.

L: Yeah? What fronts are you trying to improve at?

H: I’m always trying to improve myself as an actor. And I do a lot of photography.

L: So… photography, acting…

H: And then I write a bit, trying to develop a project.

L: Okay?

H: That I want to, like, become a… like, I dream of making movies.

L: Okay?

H: So… but… film is such a noble form of expression that… I have such a lot of respect for it that I really want to know my stuff. It’s expensive to make movies. That might be why I find more freedom in photography because there I can do my own thing and just express myself.

L: So you’re out taking photos?

H: Yeah, I always bring my camera.

L: Mm. What is it you like to take photos of?

H: It varies. It’s very intuitive. But I love to take photos of people. I love to catch the real moments. And in this day and age I think that’s difficult because people are so self conscious. As soon as you take the camera out, there will be a pose or… But I like to edit my photos so you can’t see who’s in them.

L: Why?

H: Because I don’t want to, like… like, the line, it’s… Where is the privacy line in today’s society where you, like, post everything about your life? After my life changed overnight, that’s been one of the biggest challenges that I’ve had, to be able to separate my professional life from my personal life.

L: You said that your life changed overnight?

H: Yeah, I was in a series called Skam.

L: You were.

H: Yeah.

L: But when you say that your life changed overnight, what was it that changed? What was it that changed and how?

H: Like, as an actor, you are very exposed in the way that when people watch a series or a film or something like that, they feel like, if the actor does a good job, that they know that character and they’re joining in on the journey, and weirdly enough the distinction between them is wiped away. So you’re going from no one knowing who you are to everyone having a relation to you. Everyone has already put you in a box, personal or professional. And fortunately I was in a project that meant a lot to very many people so it has almost exclusively been positive. But that’s made it even more important to me to be able to separate it, because... it isn’t personal. Like, if someone likes what you’ve done or hates what you’ve done, that’s more about them than it is about you. So it means that you can appreciate it but you can’t take it to heart, whether it’s positive or negative.

L: Do you feel like it’s been hard?

H: Yeah, really hard. It’s been a weird experience.

L: Which part of it is it that’s been hard?

H: I’ve known that I’ve wanted to act since I was a teenager and I’ve always known that publicity is part of the job. I think maybe the hardest part has been to just stay myself. Not trying to be someone I think other people want me to be.

L: Right. Because how old were you when this happened?

H: I was maybe twenty one? Something like that? I think I’d turned twenty one.

L: Then it’s probably a bit hard to stay yourself too, because what is “yourself”, who are you when you’re twenty one? You haven’t one hundred percent decided who you want to be in the world, I guess.

H: Precisely.

L: So to stay the “yourself” that you might not really be sounds a bit complicated.

H: At least if your ambition is to continue doing it. And what it would take to continue with it. And that led to, like, a downward spiral, but because I was lucky enough... I had finished secondary school and I fortunately had a strong network of family and friends around me that reminded me of who I was.

L: Yeah, because they hold a lot of your identity, especially when you're that young.

H: Yeah, I believe that you often see yourself through the eyes of others, especially the people closest to you. And that’s what matters in the end. But I was so occupied with staying successful, and at that age you don’t know what it takes and you might not have the right people to guide you to where you want to be.

L: No, but what did you picture as success at that age?

H: It was to work. And to work with talented people. In the country we’re from. And that was a bit of a disadvantage because the downside of a huge success is that we turn into those characters.

L: Yeah, okay, but when you say that success is to work with talented people. There isn’t a downside to only working with talented people, so if success is to only work with talented people, then there isn’t a downside to it. So then it depends on what, other than working with talented people, is success to you when you’re twenty one and have just acted in a series that proved to be important and engaging for a lot of people.

H: It was to continue, I guess. To be able to continue working. And preferably work on bigger projects.

L: And when you say bigger, is that bigger budget or bigger recognition or-

H: Well, I think, like, we’ve been through a period where series have had a pretty high status. But as an actor, I’ve often dreamt of working with film, and there are a lot of talented people there. And, yeah, there isn’t anything negative about working with talented people, but the challenge is the whole process of getting those jobs. And being a young actor requires you to handle rejections. That’s half the job. Not to mention the audition process where you use months to see yourself in a part.

L: Because you need to mentally immerse yourself into the character you’re auditioning for, so you walk around and think about it many hours every day.

H: Yeah.

L: And then it’s not certain that you’ll get the part.

H: No.

L: And then you’re still committed to the character.

H: Yeah, that was… The build-up to the part in Skam was that I had been to an acting school in New York, and before I left for New York, this was just one of those three months summer school courses at Maggie Flanigan, so before I left for New York, I’d reached the third audition, and the third audition is usually the last audition.

L: Either you’ve got it or you won’t get it.

H: Yeah, then it’s most likely between you and one or a couple of others. And they were about to make the Ash Lad movies and at the time, that was a mega project.

L: So did you actually want the Ash Lad film rather than the series? Because you didn’t know what Skam was before Skam became Skam.

H: No, just hear me out. So… I leave for New York and I have all of this at the back of my mind, like, I’ve just finished secondary school and I’ve chosen to chase this hopeless dream of becoming an actor because it was something that I’d loved since I was a kid. As long as I can remember, really. But… it’s, like, not a serious direction to take, at least not when you grow up in the west end of Oslo and most people enrol at BI or move to Trondheim to enrol in some kind of economics courses. So to choose a kind of path that is so uncertain means that you somehow have to prove something. And I think everyone who’s chosen to do something creative or take a somewhat different path can recognise this. There is always a kind of expectation or pressure from parents or family or friends to find something safe. And I think it’s all with good intentions because they’ve lived longer and know that there’s a lot to say for security. But then there’s this feeling inside of you that says, This is what you’re meant to do. And it’s not reasonable and it’s not rational-

L: But you had that feeling, because not everyone can identify that feeling, or hear it, or feel it, but you did, you knew that I want to become an actor, I’ll go to New York, it’s most likely a hopeless dream…

H: Hold up, hold up. I went to New York to give myself the toughest challenge I could imagine as an actor. To go to a metropolis to act out plays in a different language in a rather stressful environment. And I was thinking to myself that, Okay, I’ll find out really fast if this is really nice or absolute crap. And those three months were just absolutely amazing, I learned so much about acting and not the least about myself, because… I remember that we had these kinds of voice periods and they consisted of a lot of breathing exercises and releasing tension from your body and your voice and such. And those kinds of exercises can make you, like, really emotional. So there I was, lying on the floor smiling and laughing while everyone around me lay there crying and were feeling completely out of it. And I was so happy, I could just, like, taste the air and be like, Ah, what is this, this is absolutely magical. So I definitely knew that I wanted to do more of that. But as an actor, you’re really dependent on others. You’re very lucky if you get the chance at all. So I felt that getting to the third audition was my make it or break it opportunity. So I’m lying there in New York, fervently practising the Ash Lad script they’d sent me, beginning to see myself as the Ash Lad, being really jolly, and… [laughs] everybody around me are, like, Wow, you’re such a nice person. And then I return home, and then the day after that I’m going to the audition, it was just like straight on.

L: Okay. And that was the third audition.

H: The third audition. At eight o’clock in the morning. And I was jet lagged, and nervous, and the first thing I do when I wake up is to throw up all of my breakfast, right? And I was just, like, I’m sweating and I’m dizzy and I have to go to the audition and try to be really jolly and happy and interested, and that went straight to hell, right? It went so bad, and I just thought, Oh God, that was my one chance. So… I forgot about it for a while, and then…

L: Wait a minute, you forgot about it?

H: I forgot about the acting thing for a while. Because I had put too much weight on that one part and I thought, this is, like, shit. And then summer passed and I started working at Kaffebrenneriet at Skovveien. And it’s almost like, or not almost, it was, like, praying to The Powers That Be that, Okay, this is the direction I’m supposed to take, right? Give me a sign or something. Give me a chance and I’m bloody well going to prove it. So… I’m sitting on the bus on my way to work, and Instagram wasn’t exactly new at the time but it was getting new features.

L: What year is this?

H: 2016? 2015, 2016, I think? So I open messenger, and I see that I’ve gotten something that’s called “messenger request”, and there I see that I’ve got a message from someone called Susanna, and I click on it, wondering what the hell this is, I’ve never seen “messenger request” before? And there I see, “Hi, do you want to come to an audition for the new season of Skam?” And I thought, “Cool”, and then I see the date. A month ago. Oh my God, have I missed that chance? So I answer really quickly, because I’m on my way into work and I’m probably late, “Yeah, cool, when can I come?” and then I added my phone number. And then I don’t think about it again until lunch so then I take out my mobile and I see that I’ve forgotten to lock it. So I’ve sent voice messages to the producer while I’m at the checkout at Kaffebrenneriet.

L: Yeah, because this is Susanna.

H: Yeah.

L: Yeah. And you had spammed her with messages.

H: I spammed her with voice messages where I’m at Kaffebrenneriet, saying “Good day, monsieur, what can I do for you today, then?” [laughs] And we’re talking at least fifteen or so messages and I thought, that’s the end of my career then. This is going to be this talked about story and, like, That guy, Henrik, nobody wants to work with him again, because…

L: But also, she got fifteen notifications from you. So she had to notice you.

H: Yeah, but in my mind I was just thinking, like, Oh, hell and damnation. That’s the last thing I want to do, torment someone at work, or, like, be a bother. So I just sent a message of, like, “Hey, sorry, just forget about my existence, just delete these messages, I’ll shut up now, sorry.” But fortunately she was very nice, like Susanna is, so she just said, “Don’t think about it, just come in for an audition the day after tomorrow”. And then I think it took, it took about three or four days from that first audition until we were filming.

L: Wow.

H: It was truly the last casting.

L: So this had nothing to do with the Ash Lad…

H: No, no, no.

L: Okay, then I’m with you.

H: Sorry, I wasn’t clear enough. I didn’t get the Ash Lad part. It’s not me playing Ash Lad. But after that…

L: You prayed to The Powers That Be to give you a sign and then you were going to do your absolute best and then you were on your way to work and then you got the message from Susanna, a message request, something you’d never got before, and then you spammed her with fifteen messages, she chose to disregard those fifteen messages, she said, Not a problem, come to an audition, you go to the audition a couple of days later, and from you going to that audition…

H: There were another couple of auditions, and then we started filming, like, two days after I got the part.

L: Wow.

H: They released the episodes while filming, so there were about two weeks from us filming until it was up on screen. So it just turned like that [snaps fingers].

L: So that’s why you think, or at least why it feels like it happened overnight.

H: Yeah.

L: Did you feel like the series was special before you joined, or did you just think that, yeah, it’s a series, it’s cool.

H: Oh yeah, I had a lot of thoughts about Skam.

L: Yeah?

H: Yeah, yeah. Like, it had already become a phenomenon, and then I remember seeing the trailer that is this, like, milk fight scene in the boy’s changing room. Lots of semi nude boys in a very sexualised display. So the season was obviously about Isak coming out of the closet.

L: And you’re playing Isak?

H: No. You haven’t seen it?

L: No. [both laughs]

H: No, no, no.

L: But we’ve talked about this before, I wasn’t living in Norway when Skam was a thing.

H: You are excused.

L: I don’t need an excuse. It’s my explanation.

H: Okay. I thought, oh my god, they can’t do this, they can’t… they can’t talk about homosexuality in that way, it’s going to… it’s going to make it worse in a way?

L: Make what worse?

H: Society’s view on homosexuality. Because many of those who dislike homosexuality do it because they view it as a kind of sexual perversion. They can’t understand that people can fall in love with a person of the same gender. So a lot of my motivation for that role was to show that it was about love. So I had a very clear motivation.

L: If we can return to the dreams you had back then, about making movies. Did you feel that it was a… it feels wrong to call it a downgrade because you got an incredible opportunity, and you were committed, and as you say, you had your own motivation for the role after you’d seen the trailer and so on, but, you really wanted to make movies. What were your feelings about that?

H: That it’s too much to ask for in Norway. You can’t control things like that.

L: But can you control your dreams?

H: No, but you tend to leave your childish dreams behind when you grow older.

L: So you thought that making a movie was a childish dream?

H: No, not necessarily. But you can’t control casting opportunities. That’s part of the magic and uncertainty of being a freelancer, like, in general. I can’t control what kind of roles that might fit me.

L: So you think that your dream of making movies was childish.

H: No, no, no, now… No. What I tried to say was that… movies are something you grow up with, like, one of my first memories is watching Star Wars, I worshipped Star Wars, all I wanted was to be a Jedi. And Lord of the Rings. Those are the things you’ve grown up with and you dream about doing things like that. And also to be taken seriously as an actor.

L: I think that what you’re trying to say is that you have dreams as a child that are based on the things you’ve seen, right, the movies you’ve seen on TV, and then when you get older you get a more practical approach to reality.

H: Precisely. And wanting to make movies is because you have a dream of making movies as an artform, not as some kind of entertainment. And that was surprisingly enough something we got to do with Skam, because you suddenly saw how this affected people, and unless you've experienced that yourself, you can’t really understand how that might feel or what kind of meaning that will give to what you’re doing. But then comes adulthood and you realise that that is something that you can’t control. And you have to get a more realistic view of it.

L: But nevertheless I think, and I don’t mean to criticise you for what you say or dream about, but nevertheless I think it’s important to keep dreaming. That one of the most beautiful things we humans have is hope and to dream of something you hope for or want. I think that, okay, maybe it isn’t realistic, but just to keep that hope that it might happen... I like to say that life can always become better than you expect. And some dreams change with time, the more of life you see and experience. So in this chapter of your life, what are you dreaming of now?

H: I think my relationship with dreams has changed a bit. Because… something you’ll realise is that you can’t really predict the things that will turn out to be the most amazing experiences of your life.

L: That’s very true.

H: And if you’re born with a vivid imagination, I think you can get caught up in your dreams and try to steer them to confirm the views you already have about the world. Or yourself for that matter. I agree that one of the most important things we humans have is hope, but for me, that is more about a state of mind than something concrete, and from that state of mind I can pursue my ambitions. And work on being one hundred percent present where I am right now. So that’s why I want to call this a build up chapter, because I don’t have time to dream, I just want to do. And I think that is part of creating your own dream life.

L: But don’t you think that dreams might also work as a kind of motivation to know which path to take and in which direction?

H: Yeah, but then I think it’s more about intuition. What is it your heart tells you? Because that is… that is your job as an actor, right? That, and to convince yourself that you’re feeling something in a certain way or understand a situation in a certain way. That’s the basis of acting. So that’s something you use in your job all the time, “What if,” right? And not the least in the casting process. It’s impossible, when you get a really exciting audition, not to begin to imagine what might be.

L: Yeah, because you learned that by the Ash Lad experience, right? Where you imagined yourself and the rest of your life and then realised that, “no, no, I can’t really continue like this”?

H: No, yeah, I mean, I was all of Norway’s Ash Lad. I almost said Cinderella…

L: Yeah, you thought that.

H: Of course.

L: And what else have you learned about yourself?

H: That to get such a huge success that early in life forces you to face yourself for better or worse. So I have essentially learned that the most important thing you can do to do a good job creatively is to also have a good private life. And to relax. You really can’t be creative and intuitive unless you relax and are present. And that’s when you’re at your best.

L: But how have you learned that?

H: By making thousands of mistakes.

L: With unfortunate outcomes?

H: With unfortunate outcomes. I mean, that was the tear down chapter, that was the previous chapter.

L: Yeah, right. But is it then that… because it sounds like you’ve learned how to take care of some of the things you appreciate the most, like your creativity, but do you generally…

H: It’s to live your life. And to be able to make a living from it requires you to forge your own paths, build your own networks. And there is so much talk about the things that can happen or could have happened that you have to really keep your feet on the ground. And if you can just stay in the moment and enjoy the things you have outside of work, then you unlock such peace and security in yourself that you can walk into every room, every audition, and say, This is what I have to offer and if that won’t work, then I’m not right for the part and that’s fine and I hope your project is a success.

L: Acceptance.

H: Acceptance all the way.

L: I’d say that is one of the most important things in life.

H: Because you can smell desperation a mile away.

L: Definitely.

H: And if there’s something we’ve got more than enough of, it’s desperate artists that need a job to get some kind of affirmation that they’re good at what they do. And there are so many really talented people that don’t get the opportunity to work. So that I’ve had the opportunity to get the roles I’ve got is really an enormous gift. And not the least that with that success also comes the affirmation that you’re accepted. Not that I… I also had to learn not to search for affirmation from this. From the outside. You have to find the affirmation from inside, that, I can stand behind this, I think this is good enough.

L: How… I can recognise myself in what you’re saying, I hear a lot of things that I agree with, but for someone who hasn’t really got there yet, what would you say, how do you go on to achieve this?

H: I think it is a kind of, like, revelation that needs to happen. Where you, maybe too many times, have put your trust in other people. Or have looked for affirmation from someone who won’t give you what you deserve. Because as a rule, you don’t get back what you deserve or expect. And then you end up taking it personally and that’s a very unhealthy cycle.

L: It sounds like you’re in a very good place mentally, considering, because you put a lot of yourself in the work that you do, and when that doesn’t work out then you can easily take it personally as you said.

H: That… is the result of hundreds of rejections and a deep depression where I asked myself, What am I doing? Why do I even bother doing this, it doesn’t make me happy. Is this what I’ve dreamt of? Is this what I want to do?

L: And the answer is apparently yes?

H: Yeah, I came out of it with a completely new view of it, because you sit at home, thinking, This makes me so unhappy or I don’t understand why I want to do this, why do I do this to myself yet still have that gut feeling that, This is what you’re supposed to do, just keep going, endure the shitshow. And that might be the most important thing you can take with you in life, because I feel like there’s all too much rational, intellectual talk around your journey, your opinions, but if you really listen then you have the answer deep within. Because there’s a lot of hustle and bustle around what to do with your life that I’m sure they didn’t have a hundred years ago, it was all pretty much set up for you already. And to find something like that is to find out what you’re good at and think is a lot of fun. And having a joy to bring to new things is the most important thing to have, no matter what you do. Because that’s what makes you what you are. If you go in, thinking, At that age I need to have done that, and I need to make this much money, all those superficial things? You’re going to burn out in five years because you won’t find any meaning or joy in what you do. And then you’re standing there, wondering, What the hell, why have I used so much energy and time on this? This isn’t any fun at all? So… attitude. To dare to be present, dare to be poor, dare to be alone, dare to be sad that you didn’t get a job. Totally human.

L: Yes, and you feel that you’ve been through all these steps and you still feel that you’ve made the right choice?

H: One hundred percent.

L: Are you proud of yourself?

H: Eeh. Like, I don’t just walk around feeling proud of myself. [he laughs]

L: I don’t mean feeling it all the time but now that we’re here and you’ve shared your thoughts about your journey and the choices that you’ve made, do you feel like, Wow, I’m proud of the road I’ve taken, or, I’m proud of the person that I am today?

H: Yeah. Even if I still have a long way to go, I think that it’s important to be proud of the things you’ve done and to appreciate all the things that you get to experience in life as well as the results of all the things you’ve done.

L: Yeah, I agree with you that you should be proud of the things you’ve done. But where you are now, the chapter you’re in now, are there any things that you want to work on to do better?

H: Of course. I think it would be to use my time more appropriately. The downside to the build up and tear down is that you use a lot of your time on it, and the way that you, Lamin, build things up inspire me a lot, you’re very goal oriented, where I sometimes, like, glamourise the journey.

L: How?

H: I think that wanting to be an artist requires you to be curious about all the different aspects of yourself. And what I’m trying to find is a happy medium. I think that a little bit of everything is good for you. So, hopefully the last chapter of the book is me finding that happy medium.

L: And that you by then have found your balance in a way?

H: Yeah. And found out what’s good for me and what isn’t good for me. So that’s where I’m hoping to eventually find some kind of peace. I’m still in my twenties so I’m hoping that my thirties will allow me to find some kind of consistency and balance that means that I can offer much more in a professional capacity because that’s where I give and take, right? And to be able to give as much as possible of yourself is the goal. But I also have ambitions to do other things so that means that I have to build a lot of legs.

L: What things?

H: I mentioned it before, but there are a lot of things I want to do when it comes to acting and films. And also to make things, I want to get my photographs onto a platform, and...

L: Do you have things beside that too?

H: Yeah, there’s a restaurant that I helped open too, so that’s taken up a lot of my time.

L: I like that you say that like a very casual thing, like, I had forgotten that I have this restaurant…

H: Yeah, but I think it’s… it’s not… it’s been a pleasure and a very exciting thing to be a part of. To be involved in opening something that’s also been so successful.

L: Yeah, so what’s the link, how do you go from being an actor and that creative side to a restaurant.

H: It all began with me having to get a job to get money for the russ bus, so I started working at Eide Handel. At the fish counter. To make money for…

L: For the russ bus.

H: Yeah. And then it just kept going. There’s been a cheese shop, there’s been…

L: That you’ve worked at?

H: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I’ve worked in almost every part of the service industry. When I was filming Skam, I was working two jobs on the side, one at a restaurant and one at a café. That’s also something that runs in the family, dad’s side of the family used to run a cafeteria for ages and dad even trained for it. So it’s like it’s in my blood, it comes natural to me. But I’ve never had any ambitions for it, it’s just been, like, Okay, this comes natural to me and I need a stable income. And that’s something that I’ve viewed as a safety measure. When you do freelance, you need a steady income on the side. And I also think that a lack of security is terrifying. So to always have something steady to hold onto that doesn’t drain up has been very important to me.

L: So from all that to go, Let’s open a restaurant…

H: It all began with me and Jonathan Hagen sitting at an after-party at his place…

L: And for those who don’t know who Jonathan Hagen is?

H: He is the kitchen manager at Betong.

L: And Betong is the restaurant that you work at.

H: With.

L: With. Sorry.

H: No, it’s fine. And we were a bit unhappy with, like, where we were at the time. And then he said: When I get the chance to open my own restaurant, then you’re going to be there to set the mood. So we agreed on that.

L: And this was several years ago?

H: This was several years ago. And then a few years passed and then we decided that we were going to do it.

L: And then you did it.

H: In a nutshell, yeah. And I’m still there, trying to set the mood. In my way. So I’m more of a glorified potato, as I like to call myself.

L: That’s not the worst thing to be, is it?

H: No, you can be used for everything.

L: It sounds like you’ve thought about how to be present, so how do you take care of yourself physically and mentally in this chapter?

H: I’m actually very good at taking care of myself, but that becomes deprioritised when I get swamped with work.

L: But are you really good at it in that case?

H: Yes.

L: [laughs] You said yes with zero conviction. Yes, question mark.

H: Yes, of course. But it’s a question of if you give yourself time for it. During periods when I don’t have a lot of stuff going on, then I’m really good at it. But during periods when I have three balls to juggle, then it’s more of a lower priority.

L: During the periods that you’re good at it, what does that look like then?

H: It’s a lot of, like, taking walks, meditating, yoga, exercising, eating healthy, sleeping well, hanging out with nice people, but… you don’t always have time for that.

L: I understand that it can be hard at times, but those are the things that really keep you in check.

H: Yeah, definitely.

L: So, is there some way of breaking that code so you can keep a balance between both working a lot and still exercising, meditating, taking walks, do you think it’s possible to balance it all?

H: That’s what I’m trying to find out now.

L: So you’re really at a pre happy medium.

H: In a way, yeah. But one thing is often at the expense of the other, so finding that happy medium requires that you have some kind of general idea. And for me, that means that I need more legs to stand on.

L: One thing that I’m wondering about, because you strike me as someone who doesn’t get stressed often, someone who’s a little... there isn’t a lot… I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in a hurry in any situation. Which gives me a feeling that maybe you have an inner peace. Like you mentioned earlier. But I also think that if you have peace, that’s also like kryptonite, you get what I mean? That there’s always a discrepancy. So I wonder, can you identify a fear that you have where you are in life now?

H: I fear that everything will go to hell. Like, on a personal level, I know that everything is going to be fine one way or another. Even if there are going to be gruesome days where life throws challenges at you and nothing goes as planned, that’s part of the whole experience. And to be able to stand without support is a thing that shows what kind of person you are.

L: But what is your fear then? You said that you fear that things will go south, what does it mean that things go south?

H: I fear that I won’t achieve the things I want to achieve. But then we’re back to who your greatest enemy is, that there’s a devil on your shoulder who says, Do you really think you can do that?

L: Yeah, and that’s from the destructive chapter and that’s not where we are now.

H: No. But I think it’s a combination of a lot of things that motivate people, and I think fear is an undercurrent there.

L: Agreed.

H: And I think that fear might make you work even harder. So you should see it as a positive thing.

L: You were talking about how you’ve made some mistakes or that you’ve learned what you want and what you don’t want from some unlucky outcomes. Do you have a favourite mistake?

H: My ex? [both laugh] Am I allowed to say that? I think that everything… that what’s done is done in a way? You just have to throw in the towel. And there are complex reasons as to why you do what you do.

L: Absolutely. But I’m sure you can look back and say that that thing, that was a mistake. And then the question is, which of all those times that you can look back at and think, That wasn’t well done or That was a mistake, which of these is your favourite mistake?

H: As I said, I think it has to be, it has to be either relations where you convince yourself that this is really good, or this has to work, or…

L: So what is it that makes your ex your favourite mistake?

H: Because you can still appreciate what used to be, but I also think that one of the things I am most grateful for afterwards is that she motivated me to start taking photos. And that is something that I’ve got so much happiness from. It's given me so much, it’s given me a completely new form for expression that I’ll always be grateful to her for. I’m still very fond of her, but it was, like, when you look back at it, you realise that it wasn’t… it wasn’t “you and me”. And why you really hang onto something like that, that’s for another story.

L: I really appreciate you coming here and sharing your thoughts and your life, Henrik.

H: Yeah, I now feel like it’s been too much sharing going on.

L: You do?

H: I don’t know.

L: No.

H: As long as there won’t be any headlines.

L: There is that…

H: I don’t like headlines.

L: We’ve arrived at Your Score Of Seven.

H: Is it a feature?

L: It is a feature. I’ve made it all by myself.

H: Congratulations.

L: Thank you.

H: Let’s hear it.

L: So my first question for you is, sunrise or sunset.

H: Oh, so this is one of those either or...

L: Exactly. [Henrik sighs] So, sunrise or sunset?

H: Sunrise after you’ve been out partying all through the night.

L: Juice or smoothie?

H: Both?

L: Juice or smoothie.

H: Both.

L: Juice or smoothie

H: Your smoothie, Lamin. Your smoothie. [both laugh]

L: I’m going to have to change that question because it sounds like I’ve put it in just so everyone will say my smoothie. But, okay, my smoothie.

H: Take the compliment.

L: Relive five memories from the past or fast forward five years?

H: Relive five memories from the past. I don’t want to fast forward, I want to… live? I won't be stuck in the past, though? Because I don’t want that either.

L: Ankle socks or tennis socks?

H: Neither. [both laugh] I don’t want either of them.

L: One day without hearing or one day without sight?

H: One day without sight and just sit and listen to records. So just listen, cut out all other senses, lie down on the couch, and listen to all my records.

L: You get the power to decide one universal rule that everyone must follow. What’s the rule?

H: To love yourself.

L: Everyone has to do that?

H: Everyone has to love themselves. I think that would end a lot of the conflicts in the world.

L: The last question, Henrik. You’re going to a desert island, all your primary needs are covered, and you’re allowed to bring just one thing. What thing will you bring?

H: What type of desert island are we talking about? What kind of climate?

L: It’s unknown. But you’re the first person to ask that question. And that’s what I think too, I would need so much more information. But it’s a one way trip, you’re not returning.

H: Is there food there, are there animals there…

L: All your primary needs are met, there’s a bed, there is food, there’s air, you can move around, there’s a toilet, there is water.

H: Right, so it’s up to date. I think I would bring an axe.

L: An axe?

H: Yeah, like, you need to have some tools. That’s what us humans have built our whole civilization on.

L: My last question to you is, what is the soundtrack to the chapter you are at now?

H: Staying Alive by the Bee Gee. [Henrik sings in falsetto] Ah ha ha ha, stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive… [laughs]

L: Thank you for coming, Henrik.

H: Thank you. It’s been a pleasure having you taking my virginity.

L: Yeah, just think that this is the first time you’ve done a podcast.

H: You managed to trick me into it.

L: And I’m very happy about it, thank you for coming.

H: You’re welcome.

L: Thank you for today.

H: Thank you.

L: Goodbye.

#skam #henrik holm #my translations #my shit #i am not a natural translater…

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turboacek-blog · 1 year ago

Text

I do like XY #xy10thanniversary

Saw it was the 10th anniversary today (or yesterday by the time I posted this) and saw people decided to talk nicely about it so figured I should as well lol

I do genuinely like the series despite the discourse online about it being one of the most annoying things to me

XY I think unlike a majority of the series as I think about it had one of the strongest openings in the anime, as the whole Lumiose City-Garchomp-Froakie stuff was genuinely captivating and I feel that you will always have people hooked on XY just because of that as it’s to me on par with the first episode of the whole series with Ash and Pikachu which is also generally seen as one of the best episodes

And on a similar note, as I have issues with the team flare finale it also has one of the stronger ends to a series as well

So you have a series with a strong opening and, relatively strong ending, then you sprinkle in other generally accepted great moments in between like Ash vs Clemont it’s no surprise people love this series

And I think that’s the success of the XY, when it hits those highs it’s some of the best the anime ever has given us

——————————————————————————————————————————————

Other thoughts

I think of the six formulaic series (OS-XY) I think I like XY’s pacing the best, and that’s part of the reduced number of episodes compared to earlier series but also didn’t have the random side island adventure like BW, for the most part, the gap between gym badges and princess keys were not bad at all and I think we did spend a decent amount of time with characters that would end up recurring such as the rivals, the family members, mentors, etc

I already made a post about it but I think Clemont is my favorite male companion of Ash’s as I think he fills that sweet spot of being a smarter intelligent member of the group to explain things not only for the audience but the rest of the group but he’s also not so smart that Ash Serena and Bonnie can’t give their intelligence about subjects, and also the balance of since Clemont is close in age to Ash we get to see a Psuedo brotherly bond, rivalry and friendship between them where other companions lack at least one of those aspects, and I think he’s also a nice balance between each two members as he’s not as fit and adventurous as Serena which plays off of Ash and Bonnie, but he’s also more battle-ready like Ash contrasting Serena and Bonnie, yet has the sibling dynamic with Bonnie that Ash and Serena don’t relate to

Serena is this weird mix of I definitely see why people like her and she’s not my fav girl companion but I’m not going to say that her story wasn’t handled well at all, as any non super positive feelings about her is my personal feelings and nothing with her, I think tiring her and Ash together via camp was a That brilliant move without it being too soul-cross lovers, the crush added a unique aspect to the show that hasn’t really been touched on since maybe OS, I enjoyed each of her three Pokémon, and the sister's bond with Bonnie was adorable as we never really got something like that excluding maybe the SM girls

Bonnie grew on me a lot, when I was first watching it it’s hard to relate to the kid character but over time I appreciate the nice story work they did for her while also not shoving her to the front until kinda the Team Flare finale stuff, I think while I did like Max Bonnie was able to be a lot more likable as a character and it’s interesting because I think in a lot of ways she’s like the little girl Ash

Ash is the controversial one I noticed and while I see where both sides are coming from I am neutral on this Ash but he’s not the boring Ash but he’s also not the badass Ash I think he’s the Ash that was finally able to relax, early on we see that fire in him to get stronger and go things head first and through XY we see him slow down and be more at peace with what’s going on around him which is why I think people say he’s the most mature Ash, which he’s definitely more mature than OS Ash for sure but I think the maturity gets confused with lack of childishness, Ash while having his moments wasn’t as goofy here which I think is what I missed here as I think a “core” part of Ash is his fun side which was nonexistent was less here it felt like which obviously has the pros of viewers getting what seems to be a more grown-up Ash also I think loses a crucial part of him

Side characters

While not my favorite batch of side characters I think to say they were bad would be a disservice as they all played their role well, I think the standouts are Tierno Shauna and Korinna

Battles

I know there’s discourse about the animation and art style and just general battle decisions but I do think that the battles looked great and I think visually wise they peaked gym battle-wise here, each battle felt like each person had some experience to them as even the more rookie trainers were using moves that you never see from a previous series early on or even later in that journey

As I can (I’m not) be in the camp that thinks Pikachu losing to Surskit was stupid but I think the battle did show that Surskit was a problem and to be taken seriously despite it being a Surskit

Pokémon

Despite some personal feelings, I do think this was maybe the most solid cast of Pokémon (as in Ash and companions) only behind a few like maybe an OS and SM

I think despite some losses that you can argue about this is one of the most consistent Pikachu’s as no electric “reset”, I think Ash’s other five had distinct personalities and traits, same with Serena’s and Clemont's and Dedenne

And should point out that you can’t convince me Ash-Greninja isn’t the most fanfiction thing the show has done, but it is admittedly very cool, I even used one for my Pokémon Moon play-through as I just thought it would be cool to use

Mega Evolution Specials

I never got the same attachment to these specials as I watched them much later but they were very good specials and I’m glad they did the thing of making them in the same universe and tiring them into Ash and the gang's storylines

As I’m not an Alain fan I do like him as a second protagonist and of the few that probably think that him being the one to beat Ash in the league was acceptable (more thoughts on that in a separate post maybe lol)

Marron and Chespy were cute, Steven was cool, Team Flare was a big upgrade over their game counterparts, etc

Overall not my favorite series definitely one of the series where I can just put a gym battle on or see certain things over without it feeling dated

#xy10thanniversary #pokemon #pokemon anime #anipoke #pokeani #pokemon xy #pokemon xyz #XY10周年

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jcmarchi · 11 months ago

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Why Were There So Many Throwback RPGs and Remakes In 2023?

New Post has been published on https://thedigitalinsider.com/why-were-there-so-many-throwback-rpgs-and-remakes-in-2023/

Why Were There So Many Throwback RPGs and Remakes In 2023?

The quality of video game releases in 2023 has been discussed in detail by many, and it will absolutely go down as one of the best years the medium has experienced, strictly in terms of the excellent games that were released. The larger industry and its members will always look back on 2023 with justified frustration.

Patterns in any year are always a given. Trends inspire entire genres to be prevalent, and we also have events like 2009, where there were two high-profile open-world games about super-powered humans: Infamous and Prototype. This year will certainly be remembered for games like The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom and Baldur’s Gate 3, among others, but I can’t help but notice that RPGs citing a specific era of the genre were also, inexplicably, hugely popular.

Earlier this year, we featured Sea of Stars on the cover of Game Informer magazine. Talking to the team at Sabotage about its inspirations, it specifically cited the classic Super Nintendo game, Super Mario RPG. And when I played Sea of Stars a few months later, I could clearly see how the developer pulled from that game. One of the reasons Sea of Stars exists is because games like it are rare today, which makes it all the more surprising that Nintendo would announce a full remake of the game shortly after. What are the odds?

And then, within weeks, Square Enix saw it fit to announce and release an excellent remake of the beloved 1998 Star Ocean sequel, Second Story. That game fits right alongside Sea of Stars and Super Mario RPG as an RPG of a specific era – one interested in telling a linear story without overcomplicating its primary mechanics.

Before all of these games, however, we had Octopath Traveler II, a well-liked sequel to a game that may have served as a strong indicator to people and publishers with money that, “Hey – we miss these kinds of games. We want our characters and environments to look like a bundle of squares while going on an adventure. In fact, maybe it is the game to point to that started this whole thing.

It was admittedly less successful than the others mentioned here, but even WrestleQuest from earlier this year was another game playing in the throwback RPG medium. Late 2022 also saw the release of Chained Echoes. We also have the Dragon Quest III HD-2D remake coming at some point in the future.

So why is all this happening now? Why has this sub-genre of RPGs – inspired by the 16 and early 32-bit – become so popular all of a sudden? Or was it always there, and I just wasn’t paying attention?

I have a few ideas to put forward with little basis in scientific research. Video games, even compared to other entertainment mediums, are much more focused on nostalgia. Reliving the TV shows and movies you watched or books you read as a child simply isn’t as strong as the emotions related to existing within an interactive world. I didn’t just passively play Super Mario RPG when I was young – I lived in its universe. And RPGs are particularly good at that. They encourage players to exist within them and take them at a slower pace. The age we are now (i.e. old) has now placed us in a position where the experiences we are looking to remember are less the action-packed platformer challenges of our youth and more the relaxed vacations. We’re too old for the exciting amusement park of memory. Those rides make me nauseated at this age. But the old beach house where I just hung around and swam when the mood hit me? That sounds great. I want to play that video game, and apparently, it’s an old RPG where reaction time isn’t as important as making sure you have the right sword equipped.

It’s either that, or they are just selling really well, and people are buying them. I accept either explanation, both, or neither. Whatever gets me an HD-2D remake of Chrono Trigger the fastest.

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whimsicalmeerkat · 2 years ago

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year end fic thoughts

@elder-flower tagged me for this a few days ago, and I've been thinking about it ever since. Some of these were definitely easier to choose than others, but they all required some thought. I'm putting more detail about the fics than in the list I made earlier today, since this is more about my feelings and not at all about stats.

Rules: post the top 5 works you’re most proud of that you released in 2022 (not necessarily your most popular), your top 4 current WIPs that you’re excited to release in the new year, your top 3 biggest improvements in your writing over the past year, your top 2 resolutions (ways you wish to improve your writing/blog) for the new year, and your number 1 favorite line you’ve written this year!

Top 5 Works

make a moan upon the midnight hours: Epic of Gilgamesh (Enkidu/Gilgamesh) 3879 words

I think this is without doubt the best thing I wrote this year. I wrote it for the Chocolate Box exchange, which was my first exchange ever. When I saw it in my recipient's requests, I was intrigued and decided to gift them this rarepair instead of the much larger fandom we matched on. I found the story of Gilgamesh and Enkidu really compelling, especially where it dealt with why the gods made Enkidu and what it meant for him to become human. I think I captured some of the tension there and how it related to his relationship with Gilgamesh really well. It was also fun to write sex on a rooftop under the stars.

love sticks: Black Jewels (Daemon Sadi/Lucivar Yaslana) 1609 words

These two trauma boi murder machines are the first two characters that ever made me go "hmm, I'd like to read fan fiction about them" a few years before I even entered fandom, let alone start writing. I find them really compelling and have a lot of thoughts and feelings about them. I think this particular story really captures what I love most about their push/pull love/hate relationship. I also get into the complicated relationship they had with their father. I know that sounds like a lot for that word count, especially when you consider there's also smut, but it works really well and I'm proud of it. My favorite line of the year comes from it, too, so I'll talk more about it a little later in the post.

your mouth is poison: Teen Wolf (Chris Argent/Derek Hale) 3448 words

This is another fic that wouldn't exist if it wasn't for an exchange. Kink Lucky Dip in this case. I'd already read a ton of Sterek fics, although TW hadn't eaten my brain to quite the extent it has these days yet, but I'd never considered this pairing. I got really excited about the possibilities almost immediately, though. There's just something about the way these two men are so broken and exploring the dynamic between them. I also love it because it turns out sex pollen and accidental knotting are hella fun to write.

can't raise hell with a saint: Original Work 4059 words

This is the fic I wrote for the RelationShipping exchange. My recipient had both Identical Twins/The Sibling They Seduce and Camboy/The Brother Who Regularly Watches Their Stream in their request, so I decided to combine them. I love writing characters who feel guilty and are pining, and boy did I lean into that here. I'm very proud of my characterization in this one. Also there's smutty tattoo kink. With feelings.

you'd light me with all of your love: The Authority/DC Comics (Apollo/Midnighter) 2785 words

I wrote this for the Fic in a Box exchange. I ended up rereading the comics to do it, which was really rewarding. I hadn't read them in about 15 years, and there are so many things that hit much differently now that I'm more aware of queer culture and history than I was in my mid-twenties. It was my first time writing a canon couple, so I focused on the ways that being in an established relationship changes physical intimacy. It's mostly porn, but with lots of feelings.

Top 4 WIPs

All of these are Teen Wolf fics. See previous comments about it having eaten my brain.

won't you take me from this valley (Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski)

I've already begun posting this one. It's a time travel/Regency AU combination that is turning out way less cracky than it was at the beginning. Stiles ends up back in 1812 and finds a Hale family who are wealthy and titled. He's pretty sure there are magical shenanigans going on with them being there. So far there's been the requisite "must buy new clothes" scene and a secret room in the library. I'm going to get more into what kind of magic was involved that allowed for that kind of time travel and memory modification, as well as developing the romance between Derek and Stiles. My beta said "prissy-Regency-pants Derek" is her new favorite Derek.

devil don't take a break (Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski)

Another one that I'm posting as I go. I intended this one to be a cracky AU where Stiles is a demon. He's still a demon, but the fic somehow morphed into a season one rewrite where Scott is a really shitty friend. It's going to be the longest thing I have written by a loooong shot. Currently, my longest completed work is under 14k. This is already over 11k and I've only made it through the first two episodes. I'm enjoying writing it, though. I had no idea how much anger I had towards Scott. It's inspired multiple comments about people wanting to commit violence against him, so I'm definitely not the only one.

whiskey on the rocks & adderall (Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski)

Writing this one has been a wild ride so far. It was just supposed to be a fun fic about Stiles going to college because that particular American Aquarium lyric fits him just as perfectly as it fits me. The college part is still there, but it has also changed a lot as I've written. Are you noticing a theme? Turns out Stiles is both some sort of fox shifter and magical enough to block someone from ever becoming an alpha. There's also an OC family that functions kind of like an alpha pack. They probably aren't going to be happy about him doing that to one of them. Features a sex scene where Derek rips apart a pillow with his teeth.

untitled fake SO for the holidays fic (Derek Hale/Peter Hale/Stiles Stilinski)

This started with a prompt from the @thirty-plus-fanfic discord but grew past the 500 word max for the winter event before I even started writing. It's a live Hale family no Hale fire story. There's so much mutual pining and obliviousness in this one, guys. I'm hoping to finish and post it really soon. All that's left is some relationship talk and the smut. Easy, right? (Wrong.)

Top 3 Improvements

This one has taken some thought. I don't actively try to improve my writing. It's something I do purely for fun and as a creative outlet, and I don't want to get too caught up in the process or that sort of thing. I largely write based on vibes. That's not to say I haven't improved, though. I definitely have, but pinning down how has been tough. Here goes.

embracing the way my brain makes random connections: The Battleship exchange was when I realized that my tendency to look at seemingly unrelated things and pull them together is a strength instead of something I needed to lowkey apologize for. If you're not familiar, the goal during the exchange is to put as many tags as possible from a specific list into one fic. You can have one tag per hundred words. I had a ton of fun trying to stick as close as possible to that number while fitting as many tags into a single fic as possible. It isn't how I want to write all of the time, but it's actually helped me relax more and just write what I want

more intentional writing: OK, I know I said that about vibes but I also think my characterization has improved this year because I spent more time sitting and thinking before I picked up my pen or opened my laptop. I spent more time thinking about character motivations, and I think that really shows in my writing.

editing/grammar: I've done a lot more editing this year than I used to and I've learned some grammar rules that I either forgot or was never taught. I'm still not perfect, but my stories definitely read more smoothly because of it.

Top 2 Resolutions

I don't do resolutions. They make my brain feel icky, so I'm going to skip this one.

Top 1 Favorite Line

"A bird started singing in a tree somewhere, a singularly inappropriate accompaniment to a conversation about the genocide of an entire race."

This line is from love sticks which I mentioned as one of my favorites from the year. One of the things I love about the Black Jewels books is the way she absolutely does not pull punches when it comes to family. This references a spell that Daemon & Lucivar's father put in place that would destroy Lucivar's entire race if he was killed. The threat worked because he had done it before when another son was killed. It's absolutely wild and over the top, but it fits the character so very well. This line happens in a moment of stillness and quiet between a fight and sex. I'm really proud of the way it works as a bridge between the two.

I'm going to tag a few people, but would love to hear what anyone else has done this year, too. Tagging @torrefaction-of-silver, @krabraccoon, @calenlily

#tag game #2022 fics #wips #fanfic #fan fiction #original work #original fiction #mesopotamian mythology #epic of gilgamesh #black jewels trilogy #black jewels #teen wolf #the authority #dc comics

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wszczebrzyszynie · 11 months ago

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Hmm. Frankly im always vary about blogs made by people from outside the culture, because they just dont have the same access to the text people knowing the language have. Im only really knowledgable about Poland, so thats what ill be talking about here: a lot of the pictures are taken from folk song and dance performances, because its the easiest way to get modern photos of folk costumes in colour. They arent exactly wrong in that, i suppose, but it isnt the source i would go for for reasons ive mentioned earlier - people behind those costumes modify them to make them look better on the stage. The blog author chose to include kashubian costume as an example of polish costumes, which i thought was a bit odd, because kashubian costume is a costume that has two extremely different versions depending on the time period, with historical kashubian costime being way less colorful than the one used nowdays, but they do mention that in a different blog post.

Im hiding this part under read more, because its a lot, its long and barely ends up related to looking for folk costume pictures, but its something important to me

While searching for Poland on this blog, the first thing that shows up is a whole blog post about polish costumes (with photos taken from both performances but also some museum sites, so thats nice!). First thing that i noticed is what they say about Lower Silesia, my region, and our very specific situation with folk costumes:

"This area was much more heavily colonized than upper Silesia. Only one folk costume is recorded from this area, although there is great variety in the bonnets. Much of this area has no recorded folk costume at all. "

Now thats just... not really true. Because its not about history, im not going to talk about the complicated situation that is Lower Silesia and its relationship to Poland and Germany in too much detaul: all i will mention is that it has been a german region for 6 centuries up until 1945, when the borders have changed. Regions of eastern Poland became western Belarusian, Ukrainian and Lithuanian SSRs, and, "in exchange", Poland was "gifted" Lower Silesia. This is the time of mass moving (both willing and forcefull) of people from the east to the newly attached western region of Lower Silesia, as well as the expulsion of Germans from Lower Silesia to Germany. We, lower silesian Poles, arent what could be called native to this land: while Silesias were mostly a part of Poland durning the medieval times, at the point we got "our land back" (which is how it was advertised in posters, as before 14th century the silesias were a part of Poland), most people living here were Germans. We are the descendants of people from varying places: for example, my mothers side of the family comes from around Poznań (wielkopolska, greater Poland) and Katowice (upper silesia), while my fathers family comes different parts of todays Ukraine. Now how that plays into folk costumes: Prussia, which lower silesia was a part of, was very industrialized. With industrialisation, urbanisation and progress comes the decline in folk clothings usage. Lots of folk costumes stopped being in use as far back as the first half of 19th century. Many of them didnt survive in as much detail as other costumes did because of it, but they still... existed. The idea that "only one costume was recorded in this area" i assume comes from the fact that the costumes here are all generally called dolnośląski (lower silesian), but there were different variants of the dolnośląski costume in different parts of Lower Silesia. And they are all insanely hard to research! Thats fine! This is, by far, one of the hardest regions of todays Poland for ethnographers, so much so that i very much gave up on it. But this is what i mean when i say that foreign folk enthusiast cant exactly get some things right: it takes a lot of cultural context to understand where someone goes wrong. A lot of the time information on blogs like these will be incomplete or just wrong, because they cover a really, really big chunk of land (all of Europe! Lord. Im definitely impressed in a way with the dedication but theres no way to cover all of that in the best possible way)

Here you have some of the Lower Silesian costumes, if you read all of my ramblings here... theyre not even my favourite. But the bonnets are nice. Its sad that they didnt even show the one thing they said that differentiates this costume

Heya, wanted to ask if theres anywhere in particular you look for your slavic clothing references, or helpful keywords? Your work has been inspiring me to add some slavic stylings into a mountainous snowy wooded region and a red sand region im working on world building atm! : ]c

Well first things first, "slavic" is a very... vast word. We are a very big, diverse group of people and cultures that dont really overlap in many cases. So my first advice would be to focus less on "slavic" as a whole and more on a single region. Once you have that its generally not hard to look for references, depending on the place you chose; some of our ethnographic museums them have internet archives avilable (you just have to get friendly with google translate), a lot of people interested in ethnography of their countries have accounts compiling old photos (nowdays folk costume is used mostly in arts (at least in poland, every city and town has its own folk song and dance group. Costumes used in these groups are modified to fit the stage better, rule of theathre costuming and all that, so they arent the best reference in the world) and some cultural/religious events, so your best shot is looking for old illustrations and vintage photos) of their people and art. Theyre fairly easy to find on instagram but there are some on tumblr and other blog sites, i believe

But if it looks like a lot, here are some generally trusted go-to sources i use:

Poland: strojeludowe.net (all in polish but its the best online source you can get), @/polishcostumes and their other blog lamusdworski, instagram account polisharchives

Ukraine: Honchar museum, @/vintage-ukraine, instagram accounts ukrainianstriy and ukrainian_garment

Belarus: instagram account tradycyjny_stroj (they have a youtube channel too and its great)

Bulgaria: instagram account bulgallery

Im sure accounts like the_balkans share things i mentioned as well but i dont really... draw anything from the south slavs, so i dont have much to share. I can however recommend you an amazing artist @/heruvimski who does draw a lot of south slavs

I have also never found a single source for Czech rep and Slovakia

#also the facebook idea is great #i should be making dinner #also i feel like i need to say that everything i said here comes from love for our folk clothes #and isnt an attack on you or the blog author. god forbid. i just needed to say all of that somewhere #peace and love. have fun creating #long post

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septembersghost · 2 years ago

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i wrote some of this in a message to someone, but i feel like actually posting it publicly.

earlier today, i watched a video analysis/response to midnights from a french lit professor (i've seen a couple of the ones he's done before, he started with lover and is very admiring of her talent, and his analysis is engaging even when we have different opinions), who called this her best album, but what was interesting to me is that even though he loved it and praised its artistry/lyricism/sonic qualities, he also doesn't (by his own admission) really "get" it insofar as relating to her not only as the artist, but as the human being she is. he kept mentioning he's not a swiftie, ie: he knows very little of her personal life, he doesn't know if she's with the "same guy" that was mentioned on lover (someone please tell him about joe and the william bowery of it all because he was so moved by sweet nothing!), doesn't know much of anything about her, he's just responding to the music. which is lovely and usually totally fine! there's no other album where i'd say, "well, actually, you really do need to know!" (maybe rep, but not to this degree), because every other album could, in a sense, be depersonalized for the casual listener and still appreciated and enjoyed. i think knowing about her elevates them all, and is valuable to understand the meaning of her writing, and taking that away altogether can be dehumanizing and diminishing of her, but still, the music is enjoyable independently of that.

but on midnights? you need to fundamentally know her stories, and something of the journey of her life, to be able to comprehend what she's talking about, why it affected her, why she's revisiting it, why certain things haunt her, why certain things sustain her, where she is in her life and love now. why some of it is so reflective and raw and visceral. why "i'm the problem, it's me" isn't some admission to hold against her, or only a wry joke, but also profoundly self-loathing and wounded, what the "everybody agrees" signifies in her head, or the admissions and hurt and then resilient tonal shift in "you're on your own, kid." midnights is all her. it's from her entire life and soul, laid out unflinchingly. and i just keep thinking about how brave and almost audacious that is of her, when she knows she's been so scrutinized and so speculated about, when she knows that those of us who care about her as a person AND as an artist follow her individual stories and path, for better or worse, and when she knows that critics praised her for pivoting into "fiction" (even though folklore and evermore have so much of her and her reality in them), as if it was superior and easier to take her seriously only if she wasn't explicitly talking about herself.

this, to me, is hugely taking her power back, as much as the process of re-recording is. taking ownership of how her life and her art is hers. there are her stories, and this time she's asking us to step into her world and her perspective, to accept that as her daily existence and her history, in order for this album to be fully effective, to have its intended resonance. she's asking us to remember and recognize what she's written about before, as she explores it with a more mature and raw and intimate sense.

@cowboylikedean and i were talking about how this is taylor at her most honest, and how moving it is that the response to this album has been so massive. she is being embraced in her truth, as her whole, authentic self. she doesn't have to be polished or perfect, she only has to be taylor. i said, "the real, true taylor is so special and brilliant and beautiful, and that's her best self," and zoë said, "she was always enough, just as she is." it's an extraordinary thing to witness. i feel so blessed that i got to be here to see it happen. i love her and am in awe of her, and that's nothing new, but it's so profound here. it just, well, hits different on this record.

#taylor swift #midnights #bubble wrap around my heart #*#i want your midnights

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accio-victuuri · 3 years ago

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You know what time it is!!!! ⏱

A rundown of important points from today’s candies. same disclaimer applies, it’s all speculation. If you’re familiar with LRLG, you’ll know that we just treat this as ff and not real. Well, till we get proof otherwise. BXGs make connections because of other clues before. It’s up to you if you believe this or not. Let’s go! 💪🏻

• I already pointed out the same brand of clothing A Cold Wall. I just love seeing GG wear other brands and this casual ( but still hella expensive ). Looks like this is at the same hotel, good thing he wore something different. should we expect another batch recording? LOL.

• The poem GG shared, < A Wish > is just so him isn’t it? Aside from having a cat- it also speaks of a simple life that he dreams for himself. I wonder if that’s what spoke to him. I expected him to read something by a Chinese poet tho.

In our entire sunny world. I have but one wish, a garden bench. A cat sunning itself.

There I would sit. A letter at my breast. One small single letter. That is what my dream looks like.

I looked up this poet and it’s nice to think that GG has read her other works too. ⬇️⬇️⬇️

• Now let’s talk about the main thing here which is the LRLG rumor. ( full english translation ) Compared to the other contributions where it’s super long and has conversations, this one is just a line from a poem. Mimicking GG’s douyin post where he recites a poem. I honestly still don’t know how these submissions work and the mods probably will never share that. I mean, we know that there was gonna some poetry related thing coming out with GG on it but what are the odds.

1. The line/ poem shared was from Wang Xiaobo's collection of short stories called "Green Haired Water Monster". Green. Okay. It is one of his earlier works and was only published after his death when one of his friends contacted his wife and told her he had the manuscript.

In the novel, there is a plot in which Chen Hui (the male protagonist) and the demon (the female protagonist) talk about poetry:

It rained during the day, but at night it was very cold and there was no wind, and the result was rain and fog. It was getting dark early. The windows of the buildings along the street sprayed with a cloud of white light. On the street, mercury lamps illuminate the sky with a white mist in the middle of the day. People and cars appear and disappear in shadow. We walked to the bus stop 10. Under a few dim street lights, people felt like they were underwater. As we walked wordlessly, the demon suddenly asked me, "Look at this night fog, how do we describe it?"

I ghosted God to make a poem and read it out at once. You know, I didn't think I had a talent for poetry at all.

I said, "Demon, you see, what does that mercury lamp look like?" Large clumps of dandelions floated on the river of the street, swallowing soft needle-like light. ”

The demon said, "Good. So what about us walking on the sidewalk? What about this dim street lamp? ”

I looked up at the street lamp, which cast its dim light all the way to the ground through the hazy fog.

I said, "We seem to be at the bottom of a pond, walking from one moon to another."

The demon suddenly cried out in surprise, "Chen Hui, you are a poet!"

Can I just say how this whole thing about a monster in the mix is totally on brand for Xiao Zhan? Lol. We know how much he loves a tinge of horror or supernatural. Whoever this LRLG is, he does it so well. If it’s GG, well. We will never know.

Anyway, the main explanation for the line : the general meaning is that in the vast sea of trillions of people, two lonely and beautiful souls are so lucky to meet. 🤍 Y’all can make interpretations of your own based on the text from the story above. I can’t believe this fandom got us interpreting literature like we’re in school.

BXGs are also bring back the fact that GG was seen holding one of this author’s book which is Silent Majority. I found one excerpt from that work and it’s interesting. 🏳️‍��

2. In that contribution, there is a photo of the moon and it appears to be similar to one of GG’s artwork. There is a whole CPN about Boxiao and The Moon here as well as the song The Moon represents my heart if you have no idea why BXGs love the 🌙 symbolism.

3. There is a known fake rumor house contribution that talks about them having a small notebook that they pass to each other. Now that we see this poem, some BXGs are thinking that one thing we can see there are lines from books GG has read. This way, he can share things with Yibo or he can read it when they are apart ( and vice versa ).

Even in the early hours of the morning waiting for the show, Mr. Wang misses Mr. Xiao. I saw him flip through the small book, so he must have been thinking about it.

Mr. Xiao gave Mr. Wang a small notebook. I don't know what's inside, but Mr. Xiao said it's very convenient to carry.

I have never talked about this here but if you watched OOL ( filmed 2019 ) there was a part there that LZX gave a small notebook to GW. It contained her ideas for their dates and etc. My BXG senses were going haywire when I watched this cause it reminded me of the fake rumor ( which was first shared like 2020, it’s made an appearance a few more times even before anyone watched ool. ) I’m wondering if GG got the idea from there and decided to apply it to him and Bobo. It’s just so romantic of GG. Nowadays, everything is sent in electronic messages but here he is, making an effort to write things and keep a physical connection between them.

4. The fake rumor was posted 19:28, still love Bo. It is also the 28th contribution, love Bo.

5. My favorite part is the last where it says three months of summer, to meet frequently. Does it mean they will get to spend time? Please! 🙏🏼 or will we get their dramas or some kind of content? lol. tbh i prefer that they both get to spend time together.

That’s all folks! I’m sure I missed some minor clowning but the ones I mentioned are those being talked about and I’ve looked into. 🤍

sources:

https://m.weibo.cn/status/4761510599722209?

https://m.weibo.cn/status/4761502848390495?

https://www.laitimes.com/en/article/3jvfq_40kgj.html

https://m.weibo.cn/status/4761499564511293?

https://m.weibo.cn/status/4761500320007893?

chrome://external-file/chinaperspectives-3483.pdf

#bjyx #yizhan #clowning and cpn bye #cpn thoughts #i love the text design in this GIF #i thought it was gonna be a chill saturday but NOPE

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introvert--weeb · 3 years ago

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Hello Can we talk about your talent girl you're shinning ❤💅💅

But seriously you're work is awesome

Tell me plz if I can request this:

Takemitchi coming back to the past not understanding what is missing for the future

He is in one of toman meeting waiting for the "talk" but he hear some noise behind the tree 🌳and when he go to see he find micky and his gf(s/o) kissing and being lovey dovey and then he understands that she is the reason of mickeys dark implusion (dk if i wrot it good)

Like her dying in his arms so like takemitchi want to save both of them (I'm sucker for this type of angst 🤧)

Sorry if this is too much 😅you don't have to do it just wanted to cry

Love 💘😻💜💛💚🧡💘😻💜💛💚🧡

Oh my god! I'm so glad you are enjoying my writing and thank you so much! You have just made my whole week with that! ❤️😭❤️

Of course! I am a sucker for angst (if you couldn't tell from my posts) and this is just amazing!!

Thank you so much for requesting and I hope you enjoy this @kimrena-stuff

Mikey X f!reader (fluff with angst)

TW: mentions of death, sadness, blood, violence, canon divergence, alternate timeline

The future still wasn't perfect in Takemichi's eyes. Sure, most of the people he tried saving survived but there still was no happy ending for any of them. And once again, Hinata had been killed.

It was confusing him. Surely he had made sure that everything was fixed in the past? What was he missing that could have caused another bad future. The blond had even asked Chifuyu about any events that could be coming up that would cause Mikey to turn out the same as he had every other future. Was it Kisaki? But Kisaki had been fired from Toman.

Chifuyu could not offer much information, after all, he did not know the future and Mikey hadn't declared a war on any other gangs since last time Takemichi had gone back. So there was no luck in that department. Maybe they were both overlooking something small that would be massive in the future?

Takemichi was sort of thankful that he had been called up about the Toman meeting that was happening that night. He could find his answer there, he was sure. After all, each meeting he had gone to so far had provided him with an idea of what was going to happen.

He had arrived at the shrine earlier than most other members. The only ones he really knew that had arrived were Draken, Mitsuya and Chifuyu considering that was who he hitched a ride with. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary except Mikey wasn't with Draken as he usually would be.

Curiosity had gotten the better of the young Toman, he had went to ask Draken where the captain was. Draken simply pointed over to a gathering of trees, explaining that Mikey could usually be found there before meetings start. That seemed to only make the boy's curiosity worse, wondering what Mikey could be doing in the cover of the trees.

He couldn't be meeting up with Kisaki still, could he? Is that why the future was not getting any better? Panic filled Takemichi as he approached the trees. If he was talking with Kisaki then that could be his only chance to stop it and create the perfect future he wanted!

It was as he was getting closer that he heard what he thought was two voices talking quietly. Not quiet enough where it could be considered whispering but enough where Takemichi couldn't make out the words being exchanged. He could tell one of them was definitely Mikey but the other could have been anyone. Had Mikey decided to ally himself with someone even more dangerous than Kisaki was proving to be? After all, nobody in Toman had been able to see Mikey in the future so it could be possible.

Trying his best to hide himself from Mikey, Takemichi peeked his head around to find a sight that made his cheeks flush a dark red. Mikey had both hands against a tree trunk with an absolute hottie between them. At first, it seemed a little alarming for the younger blond until he had noticed the soft smile and blush that dusted your features.

It was only when Mikey leaned down to press a kiss to your lips that Takemichi had felt he was overstaying his welcome. Especially since he wasn't really welcome in the first place. He was simply a creepy peeper at that moment. Why did he keep ending up in these types of moments that made him look like a creep?! First it was with Emma and now he was essentially watching his captain make out with his girlfriend.

"I love you, Mikey." Your voice was breathless from that kiss, your eyes sparkling as they stared into your lover's dark ones. It was obvious to anyone that you were both so in love with each other. Hell, you were sneaking off together at any moment you could find just to be all lovey dovey with each other.

"I love you more, Y/N."

Takemichi had caught that small snippet of your conversation as he was trying to silently walk away. He really didn't want to be caught by the Invincible Mikey staring at the loving exchange after all. But it did get him thinking. Had you ever been mentioned in the future? Surely if you were this in love, you would remain by Mikey's side forever?

The Toman meeting started as it usually did. You would be sat on the stairs while your boyfriend would address the issues related to the gang. Everyone knew who you were, you would always be at the meetings after all unless you had to attend to other business. That would explain why Takemichi hadn't seen you. You must have been attending to other things every meeting that the blond went to. All throughout the meeting, Takemichi could only try and recall if you're present in some way in the future. Surely you would still be hanging around with the same people 12 years later.

He would have to contact Naoto in the future as soon as he could. After all, if there was something big that was going to happen then he would want to find out as soon as he could. And so, as soon as the meeting was finished, he made his way to the Tachibana household to find young Naoto.

"So, how did it go? Were you able to change anything?" That was the first thing Naoto asked once Takemichi had woken up. It was the same routine each time. Naoto would ask if he had changed anything, knowing that it wasn't enough since Hinata was still dead. But maybe if something had changed, they were a little bit closer to finding out what was causing this chain of reactions.

Takemichi shook his head and then dived headfirst into his question. He had asked if you were ever mentioned in one way or another. Maybe if you were still alive, something must have happened between you and Mikey which he could prevent from occurring. Just thinking back on how in love you both were with each other, he was beginning to doubt that it was a simple break up.

It had taken the two males a full hour until your name had popped up in their searches. It really didn't help that Takemichi only knew your first name and that you would hang out with Toman. The news article had filled the computer screen, a photo of you smiling in the top corner of the page. It gave off a vibe that didn't match the contents of the article.

You had been stabbed 15 times in the chest and stomach during a gang brawl between Toman and a gang Takemichi hadn't heard of yet. You were rushed to the hospital but had died before the doctors could reach you. It stated that it was a boy named Manjiro Sano that had brought you in.

It all started to make sense now. You had been caught up in the brawl and had sustained injuries that had ended your life. So Mikey had lost himself when you had died in his arms as he tried his best to save you.

Takemichi checked the date on which you had died. 2 days from today. Why wasn't this brawl mentioned at the Toman meeting?! Did Mikey keep it a secret or was it a spontaneous confrontation? Takemichi could only guess it was the second option. Especially since the brawl would take place at Toman's meeting spot at the shrine.

"I need to save Y/N from dying. That is what we were missing! If she survives, Mikey won't lose another piece of himself." And with that, the handshake that activated the time leaping had taken place.

Takemichi had explained his plan to Chifuyu. Explained how there would be a brawl the next day at the shrine and how that is possibly the trigger for the bad futures. After all, Mikey might stay sane with you by his side. Chifuyu couldn't believe what he was hearing. A gang would have the balls to enter the meeting place of Toman just to start a fight? They must either hold a huge grudge against them or were just plain insane. No gang was to ever enter another gang's meeting spot as it was seen as sacred.

The blond had vowed that he would do anything he could to protect you from harm and ultimately save Mikey from his dark future. Even if he had to glue himself to your side, he would make sure nothing happened to you. He would make up for the time he had failed to save Baji.

You and Mikey continued with your routine. Enter the tree clearing and spend some quality time together. You both exchanged kisses, splitting the dorayaki you would keep on you for your boyfriend, and joking around. Everything a couple in love should do.

The day of the brawl had arrived and so had the rival gang. It was in the middle of Mikey addressing his gang that the opponent's had arrived. The shock was quickly erased as the fighting began. Mikey had made sure you stayed close behind him so he could keep you safe, even though you could fight. Maybe not as well as most of the Toman members but you were capable of keeping yourself safe.

Takemichi scanned the entire shrine area in search of you. Relief had briefly enveloped the middle schooler. After all, if Mikey was with you, nobody could touch you. Or that's what everyone had thought. You had been separated from Mikey as soon as the gang members discovered you were cared for deeply by him. They had thought that if they got you, they could win the fight.

It was if the world was entering slow motion. Takemichi tried to push his way to where you were being dragged, the determination to save everyone being his main driving force. Mikey had yet to notice you were no longer behind him, too focused on taking out the leader and winning the brawl so he could take you home where you would be safe. However, that plan was quickly becoming less likely.

"Shit! Move out of my way!" Takemichi had panic pumping throughout his veins. If he couldn't get to you in time, there was no second chance. It was times like this that made him realise just how human he was. He was one boy, not a God. He could only do so much. But he was sure as hell gonna try and save you.

"Y/N!" Takemichi's voice carried across the entirety of the battlefield. So much so that everyone had frozen, especially Mikey. He turned his gaze to behind him where he thought you were only to find you were missing. Frantic, his dark eyes scanned the area until they rested on you being held against your will. The boy who held you had his arm across your neck, squeezing so you couldn't call out to your boyfriend. However, it was the knife that he pointed to your chest that had Mikey scared.

Takemichi was the only person who didn't freeze, pushing his way past the bodies that stood like statues. He could make it! He could save everyone with this one action! He was convinced that this was why Mikey had given into his dark impulses and why no-one could get their happily ever afters.

He was too late. The knife had pierced through your chest, narrowly missing any vital organs. This had seemed to spur the younger blond to increase his speed, trying to keep in mind that you could survive if he kept the stabs to a minimum. After all, the news article had explained how you had been stabbed 15 times. One was fixable. One he could deal with.

Mikey couldn't seem to move. His love had been stabbed. For no other reason than they were there and sticking by him. This wasn't fair. You had nothing to do with what the problem was and you shouldn't be paying the price for it either.

It felt like an eternity for Takemichi to reach where you were. His legs were screaming at him to stop and his heart was beating a million miles a minute. In the time it took him to get to you, you had sustained another two stabs in your stomach and chest. The person doing it was nothing short of a monster. He didn't care that you were innocent or that you were a girl. He just continued his mission.

The sound of skin to skin contact echoed, a sickening crack following along. Takemichi had landed the hardest punch he could muster against the side profile of the monster. The crack was the jaw breaking underneath the force. You were released as the perpetrator stumbled backwards, falling as he lost consciousness. Takemichi had made it but he wasn't confident that it was in time. He couldn't help but watch as you smiled and fell sideways. Fueled simply by the adrenaline, he had carefully picked you up in his arms before starting his journey to the hospital.

Draken had been the one to snap Mikey out of his daze, telling him to get his bike. There was no way that Takemichi would get there in time if he was simply thinking of running. And so that's what Mikey did. He fired up his precious bike, ordering the young blond to climb onto the back before speeding his way to the closest medical facility.

Due to all of this, you had survived. Takemichi had succeeded in saving you and thus saving Mikey. There was a possibility that the future would be good this time.

Once he had heard you were alive and doing well, Mikey had finally let himself react. Tears fell one after the other down his cheeks and relief had lifted his heart. He wouldn't lose you. You were alive because of Takemitchy. That is something Mikey couldn't thank the younger blond enough for. He had saved your life when Mikey could do nothing but watch.

Everyone expressed their gratitude for Takemichi. After all, they couldn't imagine what Mikey would turn out like if he had lost you during that fight. Takemichi had an idea but wasn't about to spill what the future he knew was like. Speaking of which, he did wonder how this had affected his future. Would everyone finally have their happy endings? He sure did hope so.

As soon as Naoto had shook his hand, Takemichi had found himself sitting at a table with a can of beer in his hand. Confused on what was going on, he glanced around at his surroundings. He was currently in a home that looked nothing like his apartment. Photos of a couple he vaguely recognised littered the walls, there was the scent of takeout wafting in the air, and the noise was loud yet joyful.

A few days later, Takemichi decided to head back to where he belonged. 12 years in the future. You had been discharged from the hospital and probably on a date with Mikey as he approached the Tachibana residence. Thinking about it, Mikey had seemed to brighten up more ever since you had been allowed out of the hospital. Takemichi laughed as he recalled Mikey buried under a large bouquet of your favourite flowers and a giant plushie of your favourite animal on that day. You had simply laughed before peppering the Toman leader's face in kisses. You had also planted a peck on the younger boy's cheek as a sign of how grateful you were to him. After all, if Takemichi hadn't done any of that, you wouldn't be able to spend anymore time with Mikey. You owed him your life.

That's when Takemichi realised he had done it. Hinata was chatting happily with Yuzuha and Hakkai about their experiences in Europe; Mitsuya, Smiley and Angry were laughing about some inside joke no-one knew about; Pah-chin and Peh-yan were discussing business relating to the real estate agency; Kazutora and Inui were drinking in the corner, simply observing the festivities; and Draken was chatting away happily to Mikey, his arm around Emma's waist as she tried to soothe their baby. Takemichi had saved them all. They were all OK. Most of all, Hinata was alive.

"Anyone needing any refills?" your voice trailed in from where you stood in the doorway connecting the living room and kitchen. You looked almost the same except for a few features. Takemichi knew at that moment that this was the perfect future for everyone, especially when Hinata had come over and kissed his cheek. The discussion around the room had suddenly become one as everyone spoke about the upcoming weddings between you and Mikey as well as the one between Takemichi and Hinata. For the first time in a long time, Takemichi could let go of the weight he had carried around and enjoy his life with his friends and his fiancé.

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x reader #mikey sano #mikey x reader #angst with a happy ending #anime drabble #tokyo revengers scenarios #manjiro sano #requested #takemitchy #takemichi hanagaki

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fireheartedpup · 5 months ago

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Post canceled my parents lost their shit when I said I went by to talk to the manager about moving out soon. They said they hadn't discussed this yet.

I have spoken with them twice today about apartment hunting.

They don't like it when they assume i don't know things and I tell them I do know. Sorry for not being a doormat? I don't have the emotional capacity to do anything other than say "but I do know this actually" in those situations, and it makes them more upset, which makes me more upset, and then they blame me for being upset.

I have been tying my brain in knots, trying to find deals so we can get lower rates or the first month free or fees waived or free moving services, and they just keep saying I don't know about what moving entails.

I got to the point where I was shaking, hyperventilating, and crying, and they just kept telling me that I need to calm down, that I need more emotional resilience, that i need to work on my anxiety. They don't like being told that I'm responding to them.

I can't understand treating someone that way. I'm not good at backing down when I'm in that situation. Sorry I don't tell you what you want to hear.

I've been trying so hard this week. I thought it was actually good for me. I thought things were getting better. I've been going to bed earlier, keeping things cleaner, picking up after myself more.

I was even going to say that I understand why they bring up every single thing they're frustrated with when they're mad with me about one thing. The apartment is related to income so that means having a good job and having a good job means taking care of mental health, etc. It's all connected.

I know it sucks that I can't pay my own way and I feel useless and stupid for not sucking it up before now, but also it's not just a me thing, it's a society thing. They don't like being told that either.

Mom said i could go stay with the blacks if I didn't want to stay there, then acted affronted when I said that was racist. What does that even mean??????????????? The last time someone in my family said something like that, I didn't speak to them again. Papaw died before I was ready to talk to him again.

I don't know what social circle has reinforced this point of view for her. She also thinks my neighbor is being given special treatment because she's black. It's??? The law???? And also I think the manager is just like that

I was already tired because I went to bed at 9 pm last night. I barely slept because my body wasn't ready to sleep. I had no emotional resilience left. I didn't know that an offhand mention would get her on my case, I was just trying to get ready to go to bed.

She's already apologized and made sure I came back to get the essential stuff I forgot and added in some things she knows I like, but Bitty was shaking the entire time. She runs off and hides because she knows she can't make us stop. I don't want to do that to her again. It's why I begged for them help me move out.

I need to either figure out how to take some sort of freelancing seriously or get a job this week. I can't keep living like this. I'm only motivated to improve my life when it's falling apart. I don't know how to get going.

I thought things were better. I cried a bit earlier this week, but we resolved it quickly. I thought we were working together. They didn't tell me that anything I was doing was getting on their nerves. They didn't notice that I was keeping up with things a lot better than I usually do.

I was wondering when they were going to get tired enough for the other shoe to drop. I didn't think it would be tonight.

Does anyone want to look at apartments with me 😭

#post i was going to make before this happened: i feel so so guilty for taking my parents' money #but mh dad's biggest client just bought BOTH his daughters houses so i think I'm doing okay #post i actually made: AHHHH WAHHHH BLUHHH #I'm tired of not being able to help myself #i went to my parents for a safe space away from my neighbor #but my neighbor never made me cry #shaking isn't much better but #I'll take the wall pounding over this #personal #ubi would fix me.

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borrovved · 3 years ago

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warned you p.sh

pairing: tutor!sunghoon x fem!reader

genre: smut, but at most suggestive for now

wc: 3k

warnings: mature content, cursing, mentions of erection, mentions of casual sex, y/n saying she’s screwing someone’s dad but she doesn’t lmfao

synopsis: y/n needs to pass calculus, and sunghoon needs to get laid

part 1/???

You were going to your snobby and strict private school, just walking to the beat of Sunmi blasting in your headphones. The pigtails got in the way of the headphones but you made it work. You were aiming for the cutesy innocent look today, regardless of if your whole grade thought you were some harlot. You’d rather call yourself a femme fatale, but what you’re really trying to reclaim as a raging bratty feminist is a bimbo.

Bimbos definitely need to keep their head up high with confidence, but seeing the latest AP calculus quiz on your desk with its 37% marked in red severely irked you in that it made you feel dumb, and not the good kind, the very small and insignificant kind. Bimbos don’t like feeling like that. You twirled your pigtail in your hand and tried to keep a neutral expression, holding in the heavy sigh you so badly need to exhale out. That’s when you heard it.

“How did she manage to score that low?” someone snickered.

“All that time spent on her back and not at a desk really paid off.” another person snickered. You really wanted to say you’ve actually got railed by their dad on his desk and that you’re quite adaptable on where you do it, but you didn’t wake up and choose violence today...and plus the teacher would’ve sent you to the office. Giving them attention would just fuel the fire that you can’t put out when you’re up against slut shaming vermin when you’re only a team of one. The bell rang, signaling your next class and before you were able to stand up and go, you were asked to stay for a few minutes afterwards along with someone else. That someone else being Park Sunghoon. You and Sunghoon walked to the desk of your teacher and stood before her.

“Now Y/N, I know that you haven’t been doing well in class so I decided to pair you up with Sunghoon as your tutor. I feel as though you would have great improvement after a few study sessions, considering big chapters are coming up to wrap up the semester, and now is the best time more than ever to get some aid that I can’t provide.” You peek over to Sunghoon and he glances at you briefly before looking back at the teacher.

“Is this mandatory?” you ask.

“If you want to pass this class, I strongly recommend that you let him help you. An alternative explanation could help.” You really had no other choice but to nod your head yes and go along with it.

“Good. Now that both of you are informed, hurry along before you’re late to your next class.” After both of you scurry out of the room, you walk ahead to your next class and feel a tap on your shoulder.

“Hi, I’m Sunghoon, but you already knew that.” he says awkwardly while he hands you a post it note in neat handwriting. You eye it, then look up.

“You’re giving me your number?” you ask. He nods.

“Texting is the most efficient way to communicate with me since I have ice skating practice and student council related things to do.” he iterates. Before you even say a word, Sunghoon is already off to his next class, but you don’t miss the way he turns around to wave at you and yells “Text me!” in the hallway. You’ve gotten many stares before, from the way you carry yourself and from the way you purposely pull your uniform skirt higher because you think it would look best as a mini skirt, but this time, you heard whispers.

“Why is he talking to her?”

“Must be doing charity work.”

You smile. You can’t wait to tell your best friend Sunoo what just happened at lunch.

“The ice prince is doing what now?” Sunoo says with fruit gummies in his mouth.

“He’s helping me with calculus. And gave me his number.” you say while grabbing for a piece of candy to which Sunoo lets you grab a few.

“So…what’s the plan here?” Sunoo says with an eyebrow raised.

“I’ll text him right now and have some fun.”

“You whore! What do you mean have some fun?” Sunoo asked not subtly with his booming voice.

You roll your eyes. “You know the drill. I think he’s an easy target. I’ll be my cute charming self and see what happens.”

“You mean you’ll be a man eater and devour that poor innocent boy whole?”

“You know me so well.” you say, grinning ear to ear. You whip out your phone and compose a text.

You: Hey Sunghoon, it’s Y/N, are you free after school today?

Unknown: Hey, and yes. Where would you like to study?

You: I’m more comfortable at my house where there’s less distractions. The library is too quiet for me and I like some white noise.

Sunoo peeks over your shoulder and says, “He responds fast.”

You smile, “Right?”

You start typing right away, but notice the three dots before you get to send anything.

Unknown: Sounds good, I’ll meet you after school :)

Sunoo gasps. “A smiley? A smiley!” You giggle at his reaction.

“It’s just an emoticon silly.” you say.

“It’s going to be water droplets and eggplants soon though.” Sunoo said in a sing song voice. You can’t help but laugh at your easily giddy best friend. You had big, big plans to get your prey, and you were going to have your fun in the process of passing calculus while you’re at it.

English literature wasn’t the most fun class in the world with talking about MacBeth and all, however, the fun part was daydreaming about Sunghoon. You have fancied the boy for the longest time casually but thought he was a little too vanilla for you. And you don’t like admitting it, a little too good for you with being a smart hardworking boy with his head on steady shoulders while yours just bobbled to whatever. Anyhow, you needed danger. A little spice, and everything delectably nice. He didn’t seem the type to be rough enough.

He was however tall, lean, and achingly adorable. Handsomely crafted, so soft spoken, and knew when to shut up unlike every boy you’ve slept with thus far. He’s a nice target.

The bell rang, and you were quite surprised to see Sunghoon standing by your locker while you’re on your way there.

“Sunghoon!” you say cheerfully, making sure there was a bounce in your step, very glad you’re not wearing a bra today. For some reason the air conditioning wasn’t working today at school so you used this as an excuse to unbutton a few buttons earlier on your white crisp button up. You can see very clearly Sunghoon gulp and you can’t help but do your eye smile at this, and he does a soft grin in return.

“How did you figure out where my locker was?” you say as you tilt your head. Sunghoon couldn’t help but think the simple gesture of a head tilt was so charming.

He shrugs. “I was going to text you but I knew you would be in class, so I looked at some documents to find out which locker it was. You know, student council perks.”

“Ah.”

“Please don’t find it creepy.”

“I won’t, you dork.” You bend over to reach your locker since it was on the bottom row. Sunghoon stepped aside to let you open your locker, and his breath hitches in his throat. Seeing the back of your thighs in a skirt that was hiked up higher than it was supposed to was bewitching. He felt like he was in a trance and lingered his eyes on your legs for quite a while. Your skirt was just at the edge of the curvature of your ass, leaving some to the imagination but not much. You knew exactly what you were doing. You had many cheap tricks up your sleeve, and you were going to use them to your advantage. You could practically feel his gaze on you and you can’t help but smirk as you grab your calculus textbook along with your pencil bag, still bent over taking your time putting the items in your backpack. Sunghoon knows he has to stop staring or otherwise this won’t look good for him.

“Ready to go?” you say with a smile. It takes a moment for him to process what just happened and he’s all the while wondering how did your legs not hurt when you didn’t crouch to the ground all the way.

“Of course.”

The walk to your home was pleasant, you looked down at your shoes often and Sunghoon mapped out what sections you two were to go over in the textbook, including the homework that was assigned today. You asked him how his classes went and he responded after pausing to mull over his thoughts.

“It’s okay. Nothing exciting happened other than right now.” he says, looking at you while giving you his undivided attention. You can’t help but admire the beauty that is Sunghoon. His soft looking hair that frames his face nicely and the way he has his hands shoved into the pockets of his uniform slacks make him look so boyishly handsome and breathtaking.

It takes a moment for you to respond. “What about right now is so exciting?”

He gently smiles and looks away from you. “I don’t tutor people often. Every once in a while I get asked to help students about a few things but never really spend enough time with them to consider it tutoring. And the change of pace on how I manage my time is much needed. I don’t interact with different people often, so this is...nice.”

Your heart races as the clouds take over the blue sky slowly. You notice just how pretty the cute moles on his face are as your gaze lingers on them for a bit. He does that stupid charming smile that makes you giddy and you blush, picking up the pace. You start turning while walking backwards just to give him your undivided attention.

“We should walk faster, Sunghoon. It might start drizzling.”

Both of you entered your home and took your shoes off at the front door. Sunghoon took a quick glance at your home, to which he said “this is a cozy house.” You tell him your bedroom is the coziest spot in the house, and let him trail behind you as you go up the stairs, and he doesn’t miss the way your pretty and dainty hand smooths over the railing as you walk up. Entering your room, he noticed the pink canopy bed right away, and the pink heart shaped pillow on it. There were so many details in just one spot, with the floral comforter and lights attached to the tulle. It was pretty and graceful. Light and airy. Soft.

“You can sit on the bed. Let me get changed out of this uniform, it’s so hot in this blazer.” you say as you start to strip in front of your closet, looking away from Sunghoon. Now, Sunghoon doesn’t see himself as a pervert, so therefore, when he noticed you unbuttoning your white button up and could only see the smoothness of your back and notice there was no bra in sight, his cheeks flushed. He quickly turned the other cheek and looked anywhere else but you. Unfortunately, perhaps fortunately, you had a full length mirror with fake pink roses running along its sides across your room. Sunghoon tried really, really hard to look at the curve of the pink petals and not at the curve of your breasts when you turned to the side slightly, but he failed so horribly. He could see himself and his cheeks were beet red. The bulge in his pants was so noticeable too. He quickly placed his backpack on his lap and winced at how heavy it was against him. Why did that kinda feel good?

You turn around wearing your school uniform skirt still but this time with a bright red crop top and of course, no bra. Sunghoon is dying and he can’t help but stare at how prominent your nipples are through the thin material. You take the pigtails down and he loves the way your hair cascades down your shoulders once it’s out of its confines of a scrunchie. He blinks once, twice, many times. Maybe if he sees only the back of his eyelids long enough he will stop picturing you naked. It doesn’t work, and you just stand with your hands on your hips and a lilt to your voice.

“Are you thirsty?” you say sweetly, knowing your tricks are working.

“Uh, y-yeah. Do you have water? Can I have water please?” Sunghoon is so precious.

“Of course you can.”

You really are a chintzy whore at best. Your excuse for not sitting at the desk of your room to study was that there was only one comfy study chair, and that you didn’t feel like bringing the dining room chair upstairs. That’s understandable, right? You could’ve however used the chair at your vanity, but that’s just a padded stool with no back to it. Wouldn’t want you or Sunghoon to forget and lean back too far and fall to your doom. So you told Sunghoon that you would rather study in your bed.

You played a little playlist in the background, something mellow and soft and not too distracting. Every once in a while Sunghoon will ask what song it is, and you respond with a chipper in your voice.

“Oh, this one is Sex and Sadness by Madi Sipes and the Painted Blue!”

“That’s one hell of a title.” he chuckles.

“It sure is. The lyrics are so...pretty? I can’t put it into words. The part where it talks about ‘stained glass loved lace’ gets me every time. And ‘whispering words into the singer’s skin.’ It’s romantic.” Sunghoon notices how there’s a certain dazzling feature in your eyes as you talk about the song. He wants to stare in your eyes, but alas you have to finish this one problem. Sunghoon prioritizes responsibilities over such silly, frivolous things that only he notices.

“So tell me how you’re going to solve this problem.” Sunghoon says swiftly while grabbing the glass of water on your nightstand.

You stare at the problem and try your best to concentrate. You really do. But you can’t help the way Sunghoon’s hand looks lazily placed on his thigh. Without much thought, you trace a finger on the back of his hand and say, “Your hands are so veiny.”

“Y/N.”

“And big.”

Well that’s a first, Sunghoon thinks. He knows he’a good looking, a bunch of girls swoon over him at school and at the rink all the time. The most common compliment he gets is on his eyes, and maybe hair, but not on his hands of all things. You’re fascinated by them, and you won’t stop tracing along the veins. Your touch sets his skin ablaze, and it doesn’t seem like you’re finishing this problem any time soon.

“Let’s take a break. I think you’re getting distracted because your brain is all fried.” Sunghoon says softly, still letting you continue playing with his hand.

“I’m getting distracted because I have a pretty boy in my bed.” you giggle. You finally look up and see how pink his cheeks are from blushing.

He starts to stammer “You’re the one that wants to study in your bed!” His voice is a little pitched and you can’t contain your laughs.

“Do you want to move to the desk then?” you ask.

He shakes his head and mumbles a “no.” A few moments pass and you almost didn’t hear what he says next because it’s under his breath.

“I’ve never been called pretty before.”

“Gasp.” you say, lightheartedly.

“No but like, I’ve been called handsome, smart, a little weird, but not pretty.” Sunghoon replies. A moment of silence passed, and you started to ponder.

“There’s a song called Pretty Boy in my playlist somewhere.”

You go over to your laptop and click on The Neighbourhood song. You sway your hips gently and get lost into the music. Sunghoon just gazes at you as you move along to the steady pulse of the music and let the melodies feel you instead of the other way around. You do a little twirl and waltze your way to your bed, grabbing his hand.

“Dance with me.”

He obliged, wordlessly.

He takes in the words of the lyrics and closes his eyes. If he can’t see how close he is to you right now, it feels less real. It feels less scary. Not that you’re scary, Sunghoon doesn’t think girls with pink heart shaped pillows are scary. What’s scary is you laughing at his boner because he hasn’t been this close to a girl before since a random winter formal he had in grade school. The girl wasn’t all that nice since she dipped to dance with his friend. You’re much softer and nice. More delicate. You even smell nicer. God, your little hands enclosed together behind his neck and his big hands on your waist feels too good to be true. He can feel your gaze on him.

“Sunghoon, open your eyes.” He does, and his breath hitches and you look down, because you definitely feel something poking you and it wasn’t there before.

“I have to go, I have a curfew and it’s getting late, I’ll walk myself out.”

“Sunghoon I can at least walk you down-“

“No, seriously. I can go by myself. Thank you though.”

He’s so wide eyed and his cheeks are so rosy and he dashes away like his life depends on it. And you didn’t even get to kiss him.

#sunghoon scenarios #sunghoon scenario #sunghoon suggestive #sunghoon smut #sunghoon imagines #sunghoon imagine

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enlightenedrobot · 4 years ago

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On Shame

Alright, I'm writing this off the cuff. No outline, only the mildest idea of where I wanna go with this, but I'd like to talk a bit about myself for a moment.

Earlier today, Lindsay put out a video titles mask off, where she basically addresses various accusations put up against her in bad faith. I don't want to talk too much about her, but I do have to mention that I largely agree with her and kinda sorta share her frustration with the culture created by Social Media.

Anyways... at about 1:20:00 in a video, Lindsay Ellis starts talking about how bizarre it is that we have so many campaigns against minor left-leaning barely celebs while actual racists somehow manage to keep their platforms.

"Are there not enough out and proud racists that you feel the need to unmask the My Little Pony Youtuber?"

"Because you can't impact people who are actually doing your community harm, you can't shame the shameless... So you shame those who can't be shamed those who can be shamed. And if you call one of us bigoted enough times, people will start to believe it. And then you can feel like you solved racism by spreading lies about a person you have never met, and never will, and was doing you and your community no harm. Well done."

That... resonates with me.

You guys don't know it... but I've been falling off my social media game. I had an ongoing blog, I shared my opinions and hot takes, and every now and then I'd make a post that would take off. I never became an influencer, or even necessarily even popular, but I had a thing going on that I was proud of.

And even better, it's how I was teaching myself to write. The word "writer" is literally in my bio.

For a lot of this last year, I've been trying to find out why I fell off. Why it's so much harder for me to write down my thoughts and post them. and thanks to Lindsay, I think I finally figured out why.

I'm a coward. I'm terrified of better-than-though social justice gatekeepers who will pick apart every little thing you say to find some sort of hidden racism. They'll call you out for liking and relating to a black character in a cartoon created by a black man because that character "isn't black enough", or refer to a post I make about a Hip Hop artist I happen to really like as "white-nonsense".

Here's the thing. I'm not white.

I'm also not straight or cis or able-bodied. I would not consider myself among the most oppressed people in the world... but dear god, it's not a contest and I'm sick of pretending that I'm not a victim.

I'm so scared of this mob of people who just don't matter, that I'm letting them literally silence me. Keep in mind, these are the same people who are always "Elevate POC voices" and "don't let white people silence you."

If you people really want to elevate POC voices, then you have to realize that also means recognizing POC as people. We're not some monolith shouting racism at Disney movies, we're individuals of different backgrounds and cultures and thoughts.

And yes, we do have shared experiences. To be a member of any culture means you'll inevitably come across situations where you experience similar microaggressions or are harmed by the same institutions you guys have to realize... I can't talk for anyone other than myself.

Anyways, The entire situation wind Lindsay Ellis apparently started with this tweet:

For whatever reason, people thought Lindsay was negatively comparing Raya to Avatar, and by extension she was also implying that Southeast Asians were the same as East Asians.

She wasn't, she explains her POV in her video, and frankly... I kind of agree with her.

And look... I'm literally Filipino. Raya the Last Dragon is my representation, and like literally everybody else who saw the trailer when it first came out, my thoughts were "Oh. So Disney's doing Avatar now."

I bring this up because... wow was this a weird situation to follow. Lindsay posts a very luke-warm take on twitter, gets cancelled, and deletes her account, all the while people are making claims that Raya the Last Dragon is some kind of pinnacle of Southeast Asian representation, and that somehow, her lukewarm, often repeated take on a Disney Movie, a take which I, an actual Southeast Asian, happen to share... that's what's silencing us?

Like... the people stopping us from speaking up isn't some milk toast breadtuber.

I'm confident people will disagree with me, but I've never been victimized by Lindsay Ellis or her peers. If anything, I just get more excited to voice my own opinions. She's just out there doing her thing on Twitter and Youtube, and if I had any sense, I'd be trying to pursue my own thing.

And let's be real here, the reason why I stopped pursuing my own thing is the same reason Lindsey was canceled in the first place. We're scared of being shamed.

I don't even have the same hatedom Lindsey does, and I'm still scared of it. Even after I post this editorial, that fear's going to continue to linger. I'm worried that people are gonna read this entire thing and start calling me a Lindsay Ellis simp or whitewashed or whatever bullshit racist nonsense they're gonna project onto me.

But if I ever want to continue living my life, producing the content I want to make, writing the posts I want to write, then I'm gonna take a page out of Lindsay's book.

Shame is cancelled. I have no brand. All that's left is me.

#Lindsay Ellis #Racism #Twitter #Tumblr #Editorial #opinion #hot take #cancel culture #breadtube #contrapoints #jenny nicholson

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interstellar-changkyun · 4 years ago

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you’re jealous | monsta x ot7 reactions

maybe some smut ;)

shownu | son hyunwoo

shownu has been going on variety shows to promote the group’s latest comeback and the female hosts and guests always comment on his looks

it doesn’t bother you usually, you know he’s handsome and love when he gets all flustered from the attention, but you don’t like how the hosts feel up his arms and ogle him when he performs a part of the choreo

they continue to dote on him and jealousy crawls up your throat and takes over your body as you wait for shownu to come home

he comes home earlier than usual and you would be happy if the images of women touching up his arms weren’t flashing in your mind, clouding your vision

he greets you with a kiss to the cheek and your arms are crossed and you’re pouting, still quiet

only when he’s setting down his stuff does he ask what’s wrong giving you time to look away from his sweaty chiseled chest and focus on your anger

“i saw the show today.” a beat of silence

“oh? was it fun?” he was almost done now as he grew closer to you

“it would’ve been if those women weren’t touching you up...” shownu found it adorable when you were jealous so he couldn’t help but put his arms around your waist and pull your back to his chest, resting his head on your shoulders. you could feel his muscles against you, was he not wearing a shirt any more? it didn’t matter you were angry

“i told them to stop but they cut that out of the show...” your anger subsided, of course he did. you turned in his arms then, properly looking him in the eyes for the first time today.

“good.”

“you’re cute when you’re jealous,” he kissed your nose and you blushed, for a second he thought he outta make you jealous more often but he couldn’t bare even trying to give anyone that kind of attention when he had you. “let me make it up to you,” he started kissing your lips then, his hands roaming down your body as the found your ass and lifted you up, instinctively your legs went around his waist

he was sweaty so u offered to shower with him to save water of course, he thanked you for that with his actions...

wonho | shin hoseok

wonho was performing WITH YOU and you couldn’t help but feel jealous as the beautiful female dancer moved in synch with him and his hands traced her body

you rarely got jealous, he did that enough for both of you, but you couldn’t help it when fans were saying how good they looked together and of course they didn’t know he was already taken

the tweets, instagram posts, even tiktoks of them together consumed you and you finally came to your breaking point when wonho came home from the music show

“enough hoseok i can’t take it any more!”

“what’s wrong?” he had never seen you so upset, a mix of frustration and sadness adorned your face

“you and your dancer, everywhere i look online i just see you two together and i know it’s not real but when everyone’s telling you they would be good together i-“

“baby they don’t know what’s real and what’s for the performance, at the end of the day i came home to you and love you, i don’t even have her number on my phone much less have her saved as my lock screen like i do you,” wonho grinned and you felt the anxiety leave your body slowly. he always knew how to calm me down and when he realized you weren’t as mad he opened his arms for a hug which you fell into with a small pout still on your face

“can i make it up to my baby?” you didn’t know what he had in mind and you certainly didn’t expect being handcuffed to your bed frame screaming his name as he ate you out until you came...three times

kihyun

kihyun wasn’t naturally flirty, just too kind to know he could be perceived as flirty so when a girl trips in front of him and he helps her up like the gentlemen he is she gets the wrong idea and starts flirting with him...in front of you

you let it go on as he obliviously responds to her intrusive questions, you were grateful she didn’t recognize him with his mask and beanie on but you still felt your possessiveness rearing it’s ugly head

“we need to get going honey,” you cut in, having had enough of this girl just when she’s about to ask YOUR boyfriend for his number and she stutters and apologizes, you just mutter an okay as you grab kihyun’s hand and walk away

kihyun laughs as he catches up to you

“aww someone got jealous.”

“not jealous just annoyed, how could you not tell she was flirting?” you frowned at him and he smirked, oh no he’s gonna tease the hell out of you now

“i can only tell when you flirt with me, but what if i was flirting with her? would you get mad? and if i fucked her?” he whispered the last part, since you were still very much in public.

“kihyun,” you groaned as his hold on your hand tightened. you knew where this was going, knew exactly what this tone in his voice would lead to. but honestly you didn’t care, not when you were just as territorial as him and wanted to feel like his in the most physical way.

“would you beg for me back?” kihyun, pulled you flush against him and whispered into your ear and you couldn’t help but hold onto his shoulder for strength, he knew what he did to you.

“you know i would.”

“you look so pretty when you beg, maybe i’ll go get her number.” you were whining at this point, still very much in public, he drove you crazy.

“fuck me please kihyun.” and that’s all it took before you were rushing to the nearest bathroom like a bunch of horny teenagers, and kihyun was making you cry and scream his name.

minhyuk

being an mc on a music show meant he interacted with lots of idols and you always anticipated the influx of delusional fans assuming he’s dating any girl idol he has any interaction with but one day is different from the others

he’s doing his usual mc duties but this kpop idol is staring at him intensely, even as going as far as telling him he’s handsome

she’s much older but it doesn’t stop the influx of tweets and comments

minhyuk is handsome you know that, anyone with eyesight can see that so when he comes home you can’t help but be grumpy

you can’t be mad at him you know that but your feelings are your feelings

he knows as soon as he’s home what’s making you grumpy

“babe i can’t help it!”

“ i know it’s just-why are you so handsome??? cover your face or something argh” you’re not really angry at him and he knows that as he kisses your face until the pout drops from your lips and he kisses you

you’re still feeling annoyed so you make it a point to show minhyuk just how much he is yours as you are his, making him scream your name all night long

hyungwon

like kihyun he doesn’t realize people assume he’s flirting when he’s kind just because he’s handsome

you’re out with him in vacation in greece and hyungwon is helping these japanese tourists with directions because he overhears them being confused about the hotel names, they assume he’s flirting with them since they don’t see you standing, waiting for him under the shade of the store front

hyungwon politely declines their offer to join him back at their hotel and you unfortunately hear the entire conversation, not once did he mention you

you scoff and walk off as he walks back to you, his eyebrows raising in shock

“woah what’s wrong?” he catches up to you with ease, damn his long legs.

“why don’t you go ask your new friends since i don’t exist?” you glare at him and he smirks, the handsome fucker smirks

“jealous babe?”

“why would i be, not like i’m your girlfriend or anything.” you grumble and he laughs at how you’re the angriest he’s seen you in a while. the last time you were this angry it was at netizens for attacking him over some dumb thing.

“i didn’t tell them because they could have recognized me and that wouldn’t have been good for anyone,” that made a lot of sense, maybe you had reacted too strongly. you might just be angry about other people flirting with what’s yours more than anything.

“you’re hot when you’re angry though, maybe i should do that more often.” you stopped in your tracks and narrowed your eyes even more at him, you pulled him into the side alley, pushing him against the building side.

“you won’t.” you shut up with a kiss and he was smirking into your kiss, his hands roaming down your body and you had to pull away and remind yourself you were not in your hotel room. after that you both stumbled and practically ran back to your hotel.

jooheon

jooheon is pretty well known for his unabashed displays of aegyo and so when he goes on a variety show it’s not surprising he’s asked to do it

unfortunately this show is hosted by a female idol and her reaction sends netizens into delusional theories that the two are surely dating

you’re so upset by the rumors and allegations that you start to believe them so when jooheon sees you two days after the rumors started you’re crying at your place

he’s so worried he pulls you to him automatically and asks repeatedly what happened and what’s wrong, not even thinking for a second it could be related to the rumors

finally you manage to stop crying and get out, “it’s okay if you love her too if she makes you happier i’ll understand.”

“what the hell are you talking about?” jooheon is so dumbfounded by your statement he stops soothing you and this makes you go back to crying

“you and that kpop idol on the variety show it’s all over the internet.”

“you idiot i would never date much less love anyone other than you.” you just stop crying at look at him through your tears, which you furiously wipe away again and see the sincerity on his face.

“oh.”

“yes oh i can’t believe you even believed them.” jooheon scoffs and gets off the bed you were both sat on, and then out of nowhere he picks you up and takes you to the bathroom

“we’re taking a bath so my baby can feel better,” the relaxing bath turns to a little more when he can’t but show how much he missed you the past couple days and just how much he loves you more than anyone else

I.M | im changkyun

people expected changkyun to be the bad bitch in your relationship, he had sharp features, a deep voice, piercings, and an amazing body but everyone who knew you both knew you were the one who would slice a bitch

especially if a random girl is trying to dance on your man in the one nightclub everyone knows he’s taken in, this nightclub had cut some kind of nondisclosure deal with the idols and their companies but clearly this girl was new, however, that didn’t mean you would hold back

changkyun winced as she started to dance on him and backed away, but she was persistent as she turned around and tried again, he waved his hand in front of her, clearly disinterested

you didn’t want to step in but as you monitored the situation where you danced with jooheon you could tell changkyun was struggling to remain polite

but you didn’t have a reputation to maintain and you certainly weren’t as calm and collected as your boyfriend

in a couple seconds you were wedging yourself between her and your boyfriend

“i’d back away sweetie,” you painted on your best fake smile and changkyun let out a sigh of relief.

“who are you?” her voice and tone was unpleasant, it was all too unpleasant especially when you were trying your best not to break her

“i’m his girlfriend,”

“let’s let him pick,” she shoved you away and stepped closer to changkyun, and that’s when you know you’re about to end up at the police station...again

changkyun stops you by grabbing your waist and hauling you over his shoulder as you’re lunging for her hair

shownu appears out of nowhere and asks the girl to kindly fuck off in the way shownu just knows how to do

when you’re outside and the driver has pulled up to the club, changkyun sets you down, he looks partially amused but mostly concerned

he knows you hate it when other people flirt with him just like he has to stop himself from breaking the jaw of any guy who dances on you at the club

he pushes the hair out of your face and looks at you fondly, you just nod at him to let him know you’re okay, too lost in his eyes to find words at the moment

and then the driver is opening the door for you and you both shuffle into the very back row of the minivan

changkyun presses a kiss to your temple, and you lean into his side

“you’re so fucking sexy when you get like that, i know i shouldn’t encourage it but fuck,” changkyun whispers into your hair and you shiver as his deep voice sends chills through you, you let your hand travel from its place on his lap to where the leather of his pants is becoming strained

“don’t.” he hisses and you aren’t in the obedient mood as you look him straight in the eyes and continue your torture

you estimate you have about thirty mins to go to get home, the privacy screen between the driver and the back of the car won’t muffle all the sound of you both but you can at least remind changkyun who he belongs to

so when you’re done making him suffer in his leather pants, you unzip them and he’s hissing and grabbing your hand

“fuck babe,” you just smirk at him and then spit in your hand. changkyun groans and throws his head back against the headrest, soon enough you’re leaning down and taking him into your mouth and he’s whining your name in between strings of curses. you manage to finish him off before you even get home.

changkyun gets back at you and you’re sure the entire apartment complex knows his name now

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